Seriously: What are the Giants Thinking?

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sad giants bear.jpgDuring the much-ballyhooed return of the Walkoff Walk podcast, your crack editorial team took time out of reciting quotes from Sideways to heap a little scorn on the San Francisco Giants. A classic case of tough love, our collective enjoyment of All Things Gigantic makes the puzzling choices of the front office that much more difficult to take.

The Giants made several "key" acquisitions during the off-season; ostensibly to improve their atrocious offense. The hidden meaning behind these pickups includes a decent aroma of defiance from Brian Sabean. He won't be swayed by modern thinking or reason! He sees a damn ballplayer, he signs him the heck up!

While the good people at Beyond the Box Score suggest this Giants offense could and/or should score more runs than last year, I, along with Grant of McCovey Chronicles, think they might even struggle to achieve that modest feat.

I just want the Giants to think, gee, we've finished in the bottom third for runs scored for five straight years. Is that because of the park? Let's find out. (The answer is no, it's not the park.) Okay, then what's going on? Is it a lack of execution on sacrifice buns and moving runners over? Let's find out where we stack up to the rest of the league. (The answer is no, the Giants execute bunts and move runners over as well as other teams.) Well, what is it?

As I look at it, the Giants will struggle to score runs and struggling to prevent them. The 2010 team should have more power, but they certainly won't get on base at anywhere near an effective rate.

Who will get on base? A quick glance at the Giants depth chart gives us a good sense of who should start. If Bruce Bochy could be counted on to not shoot his team in the foot in partner with the front office, that is. Consider these 8 men likely to start around the diamond and some pertinent on base information:

I realize there is more than one way to skin a cat; but giving the bulk of your at bats to that collection of aging guys (all but two are over 30) who make a ton of outs doesn't seem like good business.

The defense looks just as bad. Gone (likely) is the Giants best defender from last year. Two other top-notch defenders &mdash namely Juan Uribe and Travis Ishikawa &mdash will find themselves on the bench waiting for late inning leads (and perfect games) to protect. Some combination Mark DeRosa, Pablo Sandoval, and Aubrey Huff need to cover first, third and left field. Some combination of car batteries and smelling salts need to keep Renteria and Rowand from losing their tenuous grip on "league-average" as defenders up the middle.

Should the good people of San Fran give up hope, abandon the Giants to tend to their vineyards? Hardly. Rescue is on the way, in the form of Eric Byrnes! Seriously bros, he's totes healthy now and ready to dink infield pop ups after riding his fixed gear to the ballpark!

Add in the requisite arbitration ugliness between the team and its once-in-a-generation ace and somehow, after a season of such unexpected promise, the Giants are poised to disappoint the loyal Bay Area citizens once again. The only thing more shocking than Brian Sabean's apparent inability to capitalize on the exceptional talent of the Giants core is his ability to acquire it in the first place.

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What are the chances I catch a glimpse of super prospect Buster Posey when I visit AT&T Park for the 2010 Rob Iracane Wine Country Tour and Mini Heist? None, I presume, now that Bengie Molina is back in (orange and) black.

Not great. The Giants don't think he's ready defensively. Meaning they're afraid he'll forget to catch a Timmy changeup and take one in the Poseyes.


Molina and Sabean just needed some time apart to see if they really were meant for each other.

/Sighs of exasperation

Let's see: Bengie Molina is getting old, slow as molasses on the basepaths, hits for some power, and went through Free Agency unwanted by most teams. I'm surprised the Astros didn't pick him up...

Ed: He's not a former member of the Philadelphia Phillies. That's my best guess.

You mean the guy who had the greatest offensive player of all time and decided to surround him with Edgardo Alfonso, Marvin Bernard, Shinjo, Rich Aurilia, and Bobby Estellea may not be awesome at his job?

By the way, West Coast mini-Heist > East Coast regular Heist.

I was talking with Drew about this at WoW HQ, but Sabean has been failing at his job since 1996 (!), the longest tenure GM in the game. Poor fanbase.

We have a headquarters?

Rob, I just caught the podcast. There are a bunch of Wineries I can point you to...

Cakebread and Screaming Eagle are good, but pretty expensive.
Rombauer and Peju are probably my two favorites. Not very pricey and have a few good wines - The Rombauer Reserve Zin, called "Fiddletown", is probably $35 a bottle and kicks all sorts of ass.
Also try out Darioush and Alpha Omega. has all wineries on it, so you can check that out too.

And if the old people are paying, tell them to take you to French Laundry. It only costs like $2 million per person.

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