Brewers to Honor Commissioner Bud Selig With Lifelike Statue

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Seemingly unsatisfied with statues of mediocre Wisconsinfolk like Robin Yount and Henry Aaron, the Brewers will soon erect a seven-foot-tall statue of Herr Selig in Miller Park Plaza to honor the used car dealer who helped bring baseball back to Milwaukee. Also, they want something that will frighten children besides the tens of thousands of binge-drinkers in the parking lot.

Naturally, they will choose to memorialize Bud with his most famous pose of all time.

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While his famous pose would be the best to use, the man has certainly provided artists with a cornucopia of suitable poses and expressions.

I hope pigeon isn't the only type of feces splattered on it.

The 2010 Heist will be a trip to Miller Park, where the collected WoWies will toss a rope around the Selig statue and pull it down, Lenin-style.


In Wisconsin Bud Selig is good looking

Damnit, my cheesy LOLbot image has been outclassed by someone who can actually use photoshop.

(shakes fist with atrophied, bloggy muscles)

Let's just put a Jose Canseco jersey on him. Tearing down a statue is a lot of work, especially after eating all the sausages in the sausage race.

Whatever the statue looks like, it won't be as terrifying as the Harry Caray monstrosity at Wrigley.

Run, children, run for your lives!

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN THAT HARRY STATUE??? Is he climbing out of the screaming souls of deceased Cubbies? Or is he storming Chi City and toppling buildings like a pickled Godzilla? OR BOTH?

Also, is he wearing relaxed-fit cargo pants? Nightmares abound.

Also, on a statue with a horse, if both legs are up, the guy died in battle. If the left leg only is raised, the guy died of wounds inflicted in battle, and if the right leg is up, the guy died of natural causes.

My point? Selig's horse will have it's foot in it's mouth and it's head in it's ass. HIYOOOOOOOOOO

That Harry Caray statue looks like a still image from In The Mouth of Madness.

Phony, why are you selling your jacket?

Because I lent it to Steve Garvey once, and he came inside the left arm.

That's a valuable piece of evidence, Phony. Do you know how many fatherless 30-year olds in the San Diego area would kill to get their hands on that DNA?

Very good Photoshop. I hope the actual statue is 30 feet tall.

I say we glue a giant rubber schlong on it.

It looks like Jeremy Irons flashing gang symbols. I'm pretty sure Bud would approve.

A statue honoring the idiot stick that has done more damage to MLB than Hitler did to Europe! I don't think society deserves to continue, honestly. As a fan of baseball and human being, this is highly offensive. How do you give a statue to the moron that canceled the World Series in 1994? That didn't seem to mind all the steroids in the game? That bribes cities with an All Star promise in order to build a new stadium? I know his wet dream is for lofty praise when he retires--and he will brag about how all the teams have new stadiums, but the fact is, this sickening excuse for a human being has destroyed MLB. He is a slave to money and ESPN, and will sell anything about baseball. He sells the results of the all-star game. There are more sickening ads during the World Series to the point that I can't watch it anymore. Id love to listen online but I can't do that either, unless I feed the master with money. God forbid a WOrld Series game end before 11pm and anyone see it. Bud is Renfield, and money is Dracula. I shall pray for the souls of the fine people of Milwaukee.....

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