Finally, A Way To Make Money Off Fat Baseball Writers

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conlin.jpg Internet users have a quite a few fetishes they almost all share, but perhaps the most prevalent is food. There are approximately 45,000,000 websites and blogs that cover food; perhaps this is why America is so fat.

Another group that loves food? Baseball writers! While bloggers are fat shut-ins who live in their mother's basements, baseball writers are fat shut-ins who live in press boxes.1 What else is there to do in press boxes besides watch the game? Eat. And, as Kris Liakos taught us last year, baseball writers love nothing more than to talk about what they ate during spring training (when sometimes there isn't even a game to watch).

Well, Walkoff Walk commenter The Colonel has an awesome contest where you can monetize baseball writers' love of food. Here's how it works:

It's simple math: time * light work load - wife + smorgasboard = pig out. There are a couple ways to deal with this. You could stop following these beat writers, but that's impractical. Most of them do good jobs at keeping us degenerates up-to-date on the health of our teams' stars or the prospects that we lust over. Another way to deal with this phenomenon is to embrace it and that's exactly what I'm going to do, and I want you to join in.

For every tweet by a beat writer (from a newspaper, TV, Radio, or MLB writer. NO BLOGGERS), you can earn points. Starting on February 8 and ending April 3, any food related tweet that your RT will be worth points. The winner will receive a $25 iTunes Gift Card.

Twenty-five dollars? Walkoff Walk hasn't even given me $25.2

Anyway, this contest now has the certified Walkoff Walk seal of approval, as it combines our (or at least my) favorite activities: posting bullshit on Twitter and making fun of baseball writers. There are some excellent rules for the contest, including bonus points for spotting food/porn mashups.

There are more details on the official contest rules site, but I don't think you have a shot at beating Rob in this one. You should try, though!

1 This is perhaps not true, or at the very least a generalization.
2 This is untrue. Rob bought my ticket for last year's Heist, and I think I still owe him $25 for a Palestra ticket, like, three years ago. Plus, all the babes you can hook up with for being a member of the most attractive baseball blog staff in the business.


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31 Comments

Plus, all the babes you can hook up with for being a member of the most attractive baseball blog staff in the business.

It's true. The Clooneyness (Cloonosity?) is unmeasurable.

Thanks for the shout out, Dmac & Co. A few points on the contest:

-- The key is the quality of the tweet, not the quantity. For example, Rob has three entries worth a total of 8 points. Someone else submitted two entries yesterday and they were worth a total of 11 points. IT'S ANYONE'S GAME! IN SPRING, HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL!

-- There are only four people, including Rob, who have submitted entries to the contest. It's already bigger than I had imagined.

Thanks to anyone who participates or just likes the idea of this contest.

"the most attractive baseball blog staff in the business"

I'm still going with Sooze and BLB crew. But you're all a very close second.

This is going to be so much fun. Although, I disagree with The Colonel re scoring; to me, the comments that work in food "...just like my grilled Reuben", should count for more, not less. But it's your contest, Colonel!

Gorge: The example I gave wasn't very good because if someone compared batting practice to a grilled sandwich, I'd give bonus points. What I am giving less points to are tweets like "Getting a cup of coffee before heading to the clubhouse. Hope McGwire talks today." Just banal food thoughts that seep from their subconscious.

I love the contest, but I only follow 3 beat writers (that's enough for me)

So unless the Braves guys go nuts about eating I won't win

I'm still waiting for my prize for winning the WoW fantasy football league.

Excellent, Colonel. I knew you were a man of great understanding.

I'm totally going fake some retweets.

RT @ajcbraves I REALLY LOVE PASTRAMI AND SWISS SANDWICHES!! BRAVES HAVE SIGNED JERMAINE DYE.

Matt, who's your 3 Braves' writers? Shanks, Bowman, and O'Brien?

2 Braves writers: Bowman and DOB
and Matthew Leach from the Cards since Jerkwheat and The Colonel recommended him. (he's down with chillwave)

RT @PeteAbe: Anyone know how to get pork chop and powdered donut stains off an XXXXXXL-sized pair of Bermuda shorts?

How many points is that?

I believe the holy grail of this contest would be the tweet from a baseball writer that is simply, "I just had sex with a donut."

Over/Under on the first In-N-Out tweet: Friday

@dmac

Correction:

"I just had sex with a donut while Tommy Lasorda watched."

Ed, I'll take the under

I've never had In-N-Out burger because I've never been in a state that has an In-N-Out. Apparently, I'm missing out.

J, book a trip to Vegas and go to In-N-Out burger out there. You go to Vegas and get to eat at In-N-Out, it's a win-win.

What if we go to In-N-Out and tweet from there? Does that count? Because I could make that happen (well, at from Taco Bell, at least).

In-N-Out - over-rated. clap clap clap.
That said, I am going to Vegas next month and have planned on going back to In-N-Out.

I'll be making my first trip to in and out when I'm in Vegas in 2 weeks.

I'd have to travel to experience In-N-Out as well. The closest I can get in this town is probably Five Guys...

matt_T, double-double animal style. That is all. Also, don't forget to take advantage of the free stickers as a souvenir from your trip there.

West Coast Heist will undoubtedly feature a trip to one of the many SF-area In-N-Outs. Phillas and Fartie promised!

They have free stickers at the Las Vegas In-n-Out? I MISSED THAT! NOOOOO!

Colonel, to the best of my knowledge you can get free stickers at any In-N-Out. here's what the most recent ones look like.

http://static.px.yelp.com/bphoto/QGVi0qmhGacTzZVvoBrT9w/l

jon heyman finally blocked me on twitter.

i'll consider that a victory

Artie Fufkin is overrated. In n Out is God Tier as far as fast food burgers go.

I really like Five Guys. People keep reminding me how many calories Five Guys burgers have and I keep reminding them to stop telling me.

I just found out about this contest, and the first thing I saw was a Peter Gammons tweet that wasn't about food. Look what this contest is doing! Making me be disappointed in Peter Gammons!

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