This Tweet in Baseball: Spring Has Sorta Sprung Somewhere

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Spring (the season) is still over a month away but spring (the training) has definitely begun! How can I tell? Because the Tweetosphere is already alive with pitchers, catchers, infielders, managers, bloggers, beat writers, peanut vendors, and sausage slingers telling us about their oh-so-exciting trips to Cactus Country and Grapefruit Grove. Here's a small selection of the interesting quips and quotes from the most loquacious players about the most wonderful time of the year.

Like any good Florida native, Denard Span uses his nose to find his way to Twins training camp in Fort Myers. But I've got bad news for you, Denard, that's not pine tar you're smelling; it's Ron Gardenhire's grundle stank:


C.J. Wilson doesn't have quite as strong a sense of smell as Denard but he knows when it's time to take off his silly Olympics hat and hightail it out of Canadia in time to get on his horse back for pitchers 'n' catchers time:


Ryan Rowland-Smith didn't waste his time heading to Vancouver because his Aussies stink at winter sports, so he's already made it to camp. The only trouble he had was getting into his condo. But hey, there's nothing you can't solve with a paper clip, a slice of Wonder Bread, and a laundry bag full of rabid squirrels:


Some of the Marlins players are enjoying Spring Training a bit too much. Take Chris Coghlan. Either he refuses to proofread his tweets before sending them out to his flock, or he and Dan Uggla have invented an entirely new sport that involves swinging golf clubs doused in holy water at heathens in hopes of converting them:


C.J. Nitkowski doesn't really need to get ready for Spring Training since no MLB team will actually "pay" him to "pitch" anymore, but that won't stop the women in his life from asking him to clean up and get in shape:


But be careful nuzzling with your filthy kids, C.J. You don't want to pick up any illnesses from them like Billy Butler did:


Hm, maybe you should stay away from Royals camp for a week or so, Billy. You don't want to spread that stuff around or the next thing you know, Kyle Farnsworth's got the trots, Yuniesky Betancourt's got the squirts, and Trey Hillman is spewing up green stuff and starting a veritable barforama in the clubhouse.


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4 Comments

The Colonel should give a gift card to anyone that sends him evidence of Chris Coghlan using only one exclamation point.

He can't help it. It's the law. Very similar to Coste Rules!!

Adjusting my fantasy draft board based on a player noting his bowel movements on the Internet is clearly a new personal low for me.

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