Baseball and Prostitution Go Together Like Captain and Tennille

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A Bucks County, PA jury acquitted infamous female Phillies fan Susan Finkelstein of the prostitution charges against her, but dealt her a crushing blow by finding her guilty of attempted prostitution, a charge that carries a hefty fine and a slap on the wrist.

Back in October, Finkelstein posted a salacious ad on Craigslist promising sexual favors in return for Phillies World Series tickets.

Local police in Bensalem noticed the ad and set up an undercover meeting with Finkelstein where they say Finkelstein referred to herself as a "whore" willing to do almost anything for those precious tickets.

They arrested her, but she still made it to the World Series thanks to a wacky radio stunt, giving up just her pride and not her special gift.

Take it, Suzie:

"I'm obviously disappointed that it didn't come out with both counts not guilty," she said. "I honestly believe it should have gone that way, but there are disappointments in life."

As a Phillies fan, Susan must be used to the many, many disappointments in life, such as losing a World Series, or expecting positive things from Brad Lidge.

In other hooker news, a Braves minor leaguer has been arrested in a massive prostitution sting in Florida as he was participating in spring training:

Atlanta Braves minor league player Deunte Heath is out on bond following his arrest Thursday night near the Braves spring training home in Kissimmee, Fla., Channel 2 Action Sports anchor Zach Klein confirmed.

Heath is facing prostitution charges after allegedly responding to an ad on a classifieds Web site. He was arrested during an undercover sting operation at a Kissimmee townhouse.

Heath offered to pay a whopping $75 in exchange for sexy time, which is equivalent to three whole days of per diem pay. That's a lot of ramen noodles and hot sauce packets to consume just to save up for makin' whoopee.

Dude's a professional baseball player and he's surfing Craigslist for escorts? Don't guys become professional athletes so they don't have to pay for sex anymore? Can't any baseball player, regardless of what level they play on, just cruise a shady Orlando bar and pick up any random skank for free? Isn't this what our Founding Fathers promised us, right alongside the freedom to opt out of health insurance?


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4 Comments

Susan Finkelstein looks like a real minx.

If he's a minor league ball player, he likely isn't that far removed from high school. High school girls give it up for Justin Beiber tickets! The math is really simple here, Heath.

My favorite part of the Finkelstein story is that she lives in Philadelphia and the cops got her to drive to Bensalem in order to arrest her. Hey, next time take one of our more serious criminals, guys!

expecting positive things from Brad Lidge

Dick.

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