Ron Washington Admits His Drug Transgressions With Haste

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News out of the Heyman Hole indicates that Rangers manager Ron Washington tested positive for cocaine in July 2009. He has been tested with increased frequency since then and has tested negative every time.

Interesting news, yes, but even more noteworthy is that team ownership did not fire him on the spot; they accepted his apology and retained him as manager of the improving team. Here's Ron explaining why he came clean (even if it was at the last possible moment):

Washington took the unusual step of calling the commissioner's office shortly after he was tested following the 2009 All-Star break to warn it that he might fail the test. Washington told the commissioner's office and his Rangers bosses about his cocaine use before the test results were known, and the team decided not to fire him after the test did come back positive.

"It was the right thing to do,'' Washington said of his decision to come forward. "I couldn't deal with the result to come back positive and be a shock to those who've shown faith in me.''

Some questions I'd like to be answered:

  • Does this explain why former drug addict Josh Hamilton wore that awesome Ron Washington tee last year?

  • Does this explain why Washington and notable straight-edge weirdo C.J. Wilson don't get along?

  • Which teams would have fired their manager had he tested positive for coke? Or tested positive for something worse?

  • Didn't George W. Bush sell the team years ago?

  • How will the reactionary Richard Justices and the Mike Lupicas of the world react to this news?

Most importantly, how long before a baseball blogger photoshops a trail of cocaine emerging from Washington's left nostril, in the style of that dweeb Perez Hilton?

I salute Mr. Washington for admitting his problems in an upfront manner and I salute the Rangers for keeping him as manager. Cocaine is a bad thing and you kids should just say no, yada yada, but let us not crucify a man for such a mistake.


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11 Comments

HUMAN BEING DOES DRUG; FILM AT 11

Did Washington, a former A's coach, score his first gateway drugs from the trunk of Farthammer's car?

Will Washington's fat comrades--that is, every other manager in MLB--be tempted to follow suit, in an attempt to attain a wispy figure?

In my hood they call me Ron W the snowman
I'm iced out, plus I got that snow, man.

I wish I had photoshop/gimp at work.

Good to see Hamilton carrying a piss bottle at all times just in case he needs to submit a sample.

The only addictive thing being sold out of Farties car is a plate of cakies. Supposedly a harder habit to kick than heroin plus cocaine multiplied by nicotine.

Someone better go check on the status of the baselines in Arlington! GUFFAW CHORTLE OLD MEDIA GUFFAW

Yo Ron, got a couple extras for Wilco in Philly. Hit me up if interested.

If we've learned anything, it's that the Rangers can fuckin party. I betcha Dustin Nippert has the escort hook-ups.

Okay, it's not easy for me to learn that the Rangers manager Ron Washington tested positive for cocaine back then at 2009. It's been a long time since it happened, but it really is disappointing.

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