Hey kids, play dead and it'll pass right by you.
- ARE all eyes pointing at the basepaths today? Nyjer Morgan says smallball is back. Well that sure would be convenient for him, wouldn't it?
- FEEL a little unfulfilled without getting Morgan Ensberg's take on the topic? Fear not, here's his wordy treatise on why baserunning isn't just about speed, you dummy. Jeez, People Who Never Played The Game⢠are so dumb sometimes.
- WHO'S gonna throw out the first pitch of the baseball season? Obama's gonna throw out the first pitch of the baseball season. Had the health care bill failed he would have only been allowed to drop the puck at a Caps game this week.
- YOU guys gonna watch the Mindy McCready (ahem) adult picture about her and Rocket Clemens called "Baseball Mistress"? I'm sure it will be easier for me to get ahold of than when Margot Adams was in Penthouse when I was 6.
- DID you know that any decisions made by Joe Girardi are set in stone for eternity?
- HAVE you read JoePo's new column on unearned runs? Me either, but I heard it was good so read it and then IM me the interesting parts.
- WHO is America's foremost expert on body language and master interpreter of man's secret meanings? Peter Abraham, of course.
- CAN anyone suss out what kind of car Geoff Baker drives by watching this video of him VIDEO BLOGGING HIS COMMUTE. I want to put my band's bumper sticker on it.
- WHO has the most scrutinized shins in the bigs? J-Hey do.
- WHAT are you doing tonight? I heard some of the folks around here are having their Auction League Draft tonight. I am not part of the league but that's not going to keep me from watching it via remote linkup and making fun of everyone's picks in an impromptu podcast. I'm calling Fantasy Science Draft Theatre 3000 and you can listen tonight at 9 by clicking that link. I'll also be taking YOUR PHONECALLS on fantasy baseball, actual baseball that grown men follow, or non-baseball related life questions. It's an experiment and it's freeform, baby.
The number to call in tonight is . So join me as people draft imaginary teams and I make fun of them from my house in Boston. Which is ten times more sad.
See you tomorrow, same WoW channel. You too, Arthur Russell.

CAN anyone suss out why I used the phrase "suss out" in both my pieces toady?
Hey all, I just got back from a long weekend in Boston. WHAT did I miss?
I'll definitely be calling in at some point.
are you sure this is a good idea?
I'll try not to curse.
To view Rob's screen like I'm doing go here
livestream.com/iracane
CREEEEEEEPY