All Star Voting Starts Now: Hope You Enjoyed the First Half

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Time flies when you're having good baseball. Did you realize that we fans can already register our opinions for the Midseason Classic at Yes,just two weeks into the regular season, All Star Game voting is LIVE and ready for you to lend your support to that guy who has seven home runs or some fella with good fortune and a lucky bat.

But why should we reward players having a hot start? Or, for that matter, why should we even reward players who had a good 2009 season? Why even bother looking at stats, whether they be basic, McCarverian statistics or more advanced ones that require a semester of differential equations to comprehend? Screw stats!

Our advice this year: vote for your favorite players. Ignore the stats, and not just the first two weeks or two months or however long has elapsed by the time you get around to registering your allotted 25 electronic ballots. Ignore past performances, future possibilities, and extended stays on the disabled list. Even retirements! If you love someone who just recently hung up his spikes, write his name in anyway!

Do you love to see David Ortiz lolling around in the A.L. dugout, spitting sunflower seeds at Derek Jeter and being generally affable? Then throw your votes at him, slow start be damned! Wonder how Nyjer Morgan would dazzle the crowd in Anaheim this summer? Then round up your D.C. area pals to stuff those ballot boxes. It's that simple. Wanna be a smartass? Tick off Mike Jacobs at first base in the N.L. Imagine the sad Mets meme possibilities!

So, dear reader, we implore you to take joy into account when voting for All Stars. It makes no sense to vote for Ichiro year in and year out just because conventional wisdom dictates it. Dude's had his run so let's bring in some new favorites. I think Eric Patterson is ready for his closeup.

(thanks to Tango for the heads up)

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I suggest voting on the Swagger scale. Go with Brandon Phillips. Dude's got way more style than Robo Utley.

Who else is on the all Swagger team? Does it consist solely of people who wear their hats just a bit askew? I endorse the election of Adam Lind, he has some of that Muncie, Indiana-style swagger.

Forget the All-Swagger Team, I'm for voting for the All-Grit Team. Did you see that David Eckstein HR last night. He's got my vote.

Rob, have you voted for Nick Swisher yet?

Dexter Fowler has swagger, the slightly askew hat, the ridiculous diving no hit saving catches.


Vote Chris Perez! He will move those flat-billed All-Star Game hats.

Joba's fist pump defines swagger.


Lind your vote!!!

Not that he needs the help, but stuffing ballots for Ichiro is a great way to ensure a Farthammer stroke, so I'm all for it!

/votes, repents.

I'll vote for whomever Dusty says to vote for.

If we voted for pitchers, I'd send my support Livan Hernandez' way. He sports a 0.00 ERA and has made Nats320 guy sport gigantic bonerz.

For name recognition alone, Fister has to be on the roster.

Is Chief Bender eligible?

I'm going to vote in the most homerrific way possible, and go so far as to overvalue the stats of my favorite players in order to cast votes for them. Then, I will complain when the All-star game starters are "the same old bunch," and decry the voting system as we know it.

I like the cut of your jib.

Another year, another vote for Two Venezuelans and and a Young African-American from the Detroit Nine. I'm all about diversity y'all.

vote for your favorite players

Dwight Evans rises from the dead to start in RF for the AL!

In an unrelated note, dear readers: after 7 years of hard work my MacBook died. I am sad. You may have to do without my rapier wit for a few days until I get things figured out*

*pay off my library fines and resume blogging like a homeless person.

RIP MacBook

/pours out Miller High Life

I don't care if you're George Flipping Washington, Det. Bookman always gets his man, Liakos. Always.

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