Cole Hamels Knows, And Smirks

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One thing I learned while watching a bunch of baseball games over the past two days is some people in this fine country don't yet have Xfinity! They're stuck with boring old Comcast.

Xfinity, for those of you who have not yet been xfinitized, is simply Comcast's new brand name for its phone, TV and internet services. (Yes, it's a particularly hilarious name.)

And apparently Cole Hamels is shilling for Xfinity now in an ad filmed in some sort of all-white baseball abyss. Hamels is already in fine form this season. Last year, he would only have hit one of those plates.

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Ryan Howard (fictional character not baseball player) came up with that name

"Now that's what I call getting it over the plate." What in the fuck does that mean? More importantly, where can I get some of the badass white dirt?

Throwing a baseball through a plate in an empty white room? I think I saw this in a student film festival...

In the white room, with three black plates, Hamels smashed them/
Comcast changed names, so they hired, tired lefty

I'm saddened by the absence of Cole's little white dog.

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