Hello, Mother Leopard - The Sunday Morning Post

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Yesterday may or may not have been one of the craziest days in baseball history. At the very least it can claim that title so far for the year 2010. Here's what you have missed while thinking that this could last us all a lifetime.

Rockies 4, Braves 0: Ubaldo Jiminez throws the first no-hitter in Rockies history and he took the AJ Burnett path to get their by walking 6 guys in nine innings on 129 pitches... but it still counts! Ubaldo was still throwing absolute gas in the late innings, hitting 98mph on the gun even in the ninth. More like Ubald-no-no, amirite?!

Mets 2, Cardinals 1: It's hard to believe something could actually trump a no-hitter, but this game certainly tried its darndest. It took twenty innings to decide the winner of what started out as a regular season baseball game and ended up becoming a test of endurance and a competition between two teams to see who could try to lose faster so that everybody could go home. Luckily for the Mets Tony LaRussa is the worst manager in baseball. The Cardinals had the bases loaded with a chance to win the game, three times (in the 10th, 12th, and 14th), but each time we were denied delicious shrimp. MOTHER$#&!@*. In the 12th and 14th, LaRussa left the pitcher in to bat with the bases loaded. Oh, and by the way the pitcher was hitting in the cleanup spot after what I can only imagine was a double switch that pulled Matt Holliday out of the lineup. The Cardinals used two position players to pitch with one of them, Joe Mather, taking the loss. Mike Pelfrey earned his first career save. Isn't the NL just adorable?

Athletics 4, Orioles 2: While the Astros might be getting a lot of attention for their early-season struggles, it's important to note that the lowly Orioles still only have one win on the season in what can only be described as an attempt to make the Blue Jays feel better about themselves by securing a veritable stranglehold on last place in the AL East. The A's secured a walkoff victory on Ryan Sweeney's two-run single in the ninth. Wayward O's closer Mike Gonzalez was nowhere near the scene of the crime, so it fell on Jim Johnson to blow the game.

Rays 3, Red Sox 1: The Rays had a busy day yesterday because they had to finish their Friday contest against the Red Sox, which was suspended due to rain. Pat Burrell clubbed a two-run homer in the 12th inning to give the Rays a victory. Then the team from Tampa held off a Red Sox rally to win the second game of the double-header 6-5. The Rays are now tied with the Yankees atop the East. Bill Simmons renunciation of sabermetrics and Theo's "defense first" offseason plan will hit the internetz in 3...2...

Giants 9, Dodgers 0: Tim Lincecum's early-season dominance cannot be stopped. The lithe righty did it all in his six innings of work, striking out seven and driving in three runs to support his own cause. Knuckleballer Charlie Haeger was battered around by a Giants lineup that once again forgot it was the anemic Giants' lineup. Look at that, a normal baseball game!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch: Roy Oswalt threw seven shutout innings and the Astros' bullpened weathered a late Cubs rally to secure the team's second win. There was almost shrimp in the Pittsburgh game, but Garrett Jones saw fit to end the game with his bat to give the Pirates a walkoff win of their own. Break up the Nationals! They shutout the Brewers 8-0 yesterday. The Yankees beat the Rangers as A-Rod hit his first homer of 2010. He picked a good time to do it, as there were two very special people in attendance. The Mariners bested Justin Verlander to win 4-2.

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The crazy thing was watching SC, or BBTN - it doesn't really matter at this point, does it? - and hearing an anchor say "the last time baseball had a no-hitter and a 20-inning game on the same day? 2003."

My guess would've been, umm ... freaking never?

After the 14th and no W, LaRuuusa probably said 'fuck it. hand me the bottle of jack.'

Nope, Phony, it actually did happen. Dmac tweeted that same thing earlier so I went a-lookin'. Kevin Millwood threw a no-no on 4/27/2003. The same day... wait for... the Cardinals(!!!) played a 20 inning game. This time the Redbirds won, they beat the Marlins 7-6.

La Russa drinks Malibu Rum.

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