On Seeing The Elgin Marbles For The First Time: Today's Afternoon Games

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  • Angels at Yankees: 1:05: The Yankees have been knocking the ball around pretty good, and today will face Joel Pineiro, a man who knows from getting knocked around. In the AL, anyway. Not that his counterpart, Javier Vasquez had the most sparkling of season debuts giving up 8 in 5.2 against Tampa. Expect another long afternoon in the Bronx. Bonus prediction! Also expect lots of fat guys in the stands.

  • Royals at Tigers, 1:05: Rubba dub in Detroit. Rick Porcello makes his second afternoon start of the season. Kyle Davies goes for KC. Cats are tied atop the NL Central with the Twins at 6-2. You're already watching a pennant race, kids.

  • Red Sox at Twins, 1:10: And here are those aforementioned Twins hosting the Sox for game two of this series. Apparently opening a new stadium was so exciting they needed a day off to recover. Turnstile rash can be a real bear. John Lackey takes on Kevin Slowey. It's Lackey's second consecutive start as a sort of "stopper" following lackluster starts by Jon Lester. Like every other pitcher in baseball, Lackey has a tough time getting Joe Mauer out. Ol' Sideburn Sally is 9-fer-20 lifetime against him with 2 HR.

Other games of note: Rays at Orioles (1:35), Brewers at Cubs (2:20), and Pirates at Giants (3:45). Do with those what you will.

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Also expect lots of fat guys in the stands.

It's true, Chief Wahoo is on his way.

Why is Chief Wahoo taking a gay dude to the Yankees game? Oh, ferry, my bad.

Vazquez is getting the shit slapped out him.

Do with those what you will.

Cool. Prepare to be ignored.

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