Hey guys, did you know that the Cardinals' biggest signing of the offseason was not, in fact, the tens of millions of dollars they threw at Matt Holliday, but rather the tens of thousands of dollars they threw at Mark McGwire? Yes, the man who once injected some drugs in his body that may or may not have helped him hit 500-foot home runs is now advising younger hitters how to hit a baseball the opposite way.
Do hitting coaches really matter? I have no idea! And yet the AP finds it necessary to lead off their coverage with Big Mac instead of, you know, ACTUAL COMPETITIVE BASEBALL BEING PLAYED IN CINCINNATI FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SIX MONTHS.
Here are your lineups for today's very next game:
|Skip Schumaker, 2B||Chris Dickerson, CF|
|Brendan Ryan, SS||Orlando Cabrera, SS|
|Albert Pujols, 1B||Joey Votto, 1B|
|Matt Holliday, LF||Brandon Phillips, 2B|
|Colby Rasmus, CF||Scott Rolen, 3B|
|Ryan Ludwick, RF||Jay Bruce, RF|
|Yadier Molina, C||Laynce Nix, LF|
|David Freese, 3B||Ramon Hernandez, C|
|Chris Carpenter, RHP||Aaron Harang, RHP|