Opening Day Lineupstravaganza, Cardinals @ Reds, 1:10PM

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Hey guys, did you know that the Cardinals' biggest signing of the offseason was not, in fact, the tens of millions of dollars they threw at Matt Holliday, but rather the tens of thousands of dollars they threw at Mark McGwire? Yes, the man who once injected some drugs in his body that may or may not have helped him hit 500-foot home runs is now advising younger hitters how to hit a baseball the opposite way.

Do hitting coaches really matter? I have no idea! And yet the AP finds it necessary to lead off their coverage with Big Mac instead of, you know, ACTUAL COMPETITIVE BASEBALL BEING PLAYED IN CINCINNATI FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SIX MONTHS.

Here are your lineups for today's very next game:

Skip Schumaker, 2BChris Dickerson, CF
Brendan Ryan, SSOrlando Cabrera, SS
Albert Pujols, 1BJoey Votto, 1B
Matt Holliday, LFBrandon Phillips, 2B
Colby Rasmus, CFScott Rolen, 3B
Ryan Ludwick, RFJay Bruce, RF
Yadier Molina, CLaynce Nix, LF
David Freese, 3BRamon Hernandez, C
Chris Carpenter, RHPAaron Harang, RHP

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It's interesting that Ryan is in the two hole instead of Rasmus. I hope those two switch spots in the order over the course of the season.

John Miller told a story last night about Marge Schott being upset that the Sunday Night telecasts usurped her team's ability to play the league's first game each year. I felt bad for her, then I remembered that she was a miserable racist.

"Now that I've found your pressure point and have your full attention, let me finish telling you about my Gov't Mule tribute band."

heh heh - Colonel said "two hole"

*ahem* sorry

In accordance with MLB rules for opening day starters who pitch for Dusty Baker, Aaron Harang is working on developing a devastating arm injury that will end his career.

Are you guys going to put the scoreboard back on the sidebar?
I found it useful. Maybe the intern can get on that for you.

Ask and ye shall receive... least on the home page.

I'm going out on a limb and saying Pujols wont hit the 568 HRs he is on pace for.

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