This Tweet in Baseball: Your Weekly Update on the Sport's Twits

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Whomever thought it was a good idea to set up a professional baseball player with a Twitter account deserves our praise and our scorn. We get an equal amount of laughs and groans from this 140-character missives; let's dive headfirst into the miasma and see what the players and other personalities around the baseballtweetosphere have been chatting about lately.

Of course, it's not only baseball players who struggle with the concept of Twitter. Instantly updating your status without proofreading first can get broadcasters and former general managers in trouble, too. Here's the man who salted the fields of the Reds and the Nationals for years to come, XM Radio's own Jim Bowden, congratulating a certain Cleveland Indian slugger for his big week:

White Sox skipper Ozzie Guillen is just like you or me! Even a fancy man like Oz has to sit around his condo waiting for the awful cable company to show up between the hours of 8AM and 3PM, and then spend the entire time twooting about how much he hates Comcast.

Former big league slugger and best-selling author Jose Canseco has been notoriously outspoken in the Tweet-o-sphere but this past week, Jose really went off the reservation. Seriously, if you don't follow Jose, take a gander at the brain droppings of a demented man with a 65 I.Q. It's like taking a peek into the mind of insanity:

Official recording secretary of the Marlins God Squad Chris Coghlan and his buddies were wowed and totally awed by the big city of Houston. Even the taxis are bigger in Texas! All praises be to our lord and savior Jesus the taxi driver!

Speaking of big cities, Texas Rangers pitcher C.J. Wilson had an off-day in NYC after getting walloped by the Yanks so he decided to do what any yokel or Midwestern hausfrau would:

Washington Nationals mascot and nightmare fuel inducer Screech the Eagle is having a birthday party this weekend at Nats Park and is hosting ten of his closest mascot friends to celebrate! Of course, just like in elementary school, sometimes the loser kid in the class doesn't get invited:

Angels right fielder Bobby Abreu may have gotten off to a slow start but at least he (or whoever has been hired to compose his tweets) is funny and self-deprecating about the whole sitch. He's like the Venezuelan baseball player version of Jerry Steinfeld:

And finally, here is your official David Price Sphinxian riddle of the week:

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I must insist that in the future you refer to him as "Big League" Choo.

That's Big League Chin to you, sir.

If I was on the Twitter, I would Tweet "I finally got a job." So, I'm no longer among the actors and hobos strolling through the park at 2 pm on a Tuesday.

I wish Ozzie had used the #fuckcomcast tag that I was using last week BECAUSE COMCAST IS FUCKING TERRIBLE

Phony, you say that like there was something wrong with strolling through the park on a Tuesday. Like I am about to do.

The answer to David Price's riddle is the KFC Double Down.

I knew that there was a large Latino community in NYC, but I had no idea that they were now calling it Caracas.


Congrats, Phony.
Jose Conseco scares me. If he's willing to type out those thoughts, what's flashing through his head that he doesn't write?
I want a churro.

Conseco's tweet from 9 hours ago: "Who out there wants to kick my ass"
Answer: who doesn't?

Also, add me to the list of people that want a churro.

The answer to David Price's riddle is, "Joe Maddon's hoodie".


I'm contractually obligated to say it that way.

BTW, congrats, Phony. Now, if only Wahoo returned my calls.

So why the hell can seemingly nobody spell the worse "lose", "losing", and "loser" right anymore?

oh yeah - and Congrats on the new job, Phony!

Holy SHIT do I suck. SPELL THE WORDS. I was recording all morning, gimme a break!

The answer as always is King Cobra Malt Liquor.

I too hate Comcast! Is this the start of a bridge between myself and Ozzie? Am I going to start sacrificing chickens in the White Sox clubhouse?

That tweet kinda turned me from a CJ Wilson hater into a CJ Wilson fan.

And Bobby Abreu's Twitter account is making me a bigger fan of him (or his ability to hire somebody funny to write his tweets) than I already was.

Thanks all. Hopefully I'll still have some time during the days to waste with all you wonderful bastards.

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