Hey kids, memories and drinks don't mix too well.
- WILL Jon Lester and AJ Burnett fare a little better than their staff "aces" did on Sunday night? And WILL the second game of this Yanks/Sox series be nearly as exciting as the first?
- WILL the Rays begin their not under the radar under the radar 2010 campaign against the perennial doormat but not expected to be the doormat this year Orioles?
- CAN Barry Zito continue on the upward trajectory he started with last year's semi-bounceback season? Faint praise, as it would have been hard for him to get much worse, but we'll see. Maybe that old salt Lincecum and his two Cy Youngs are finally rubbing off on the headstrong youngster.
- WANT to read a sportswriter that makes Dave Barry look like Richard Pryor? Look no further than beat writer Henry Schulman's new blog. Hope you've had enough time to warm up your tomato throwing arm.
- DO you think the Twins are going to lose all their games on purpose until they get to open Target Field? That would be sentimental and sweet but also kind of dumb. Just like Twins fans. ZING. They've got Joe Saunders in game two of their series with the Angels tonight.
- DO you think a Jason Heyward jersey would look good underneath a leather jacket? Only one man knows for sure: Arthur Fonzarelli O'Brien.
- HOW will Edwin Jackson fare in his first start as a Diamondback against the Padres? And WILL Florida State Seminole Stephen Drew have another inside the park home run?
- DID The Colonel know what he was getting into when he started that beatwriter/food contest thing? Who knows, but he sounds exhausted now that it's over. Meech won. No surprise there. Philly knows their fat people.
Well that's it for us. This is the only thing I've written all day but there should be enough in there to insult a good portion of our readers. My work here is done. Afternoon games tomorrow, but no Wednesday Afternoon Liveglog Club just yet. You've got another week to get your blazers drycleaned.
Happy 73rd Birthday, Merle Haggard!