Weekend Questions

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Hey kids, you cannot run forever.

Have a good weeeeeeeekend. I'm gonna watch a lot of golf but first I'm trying to decide whether or not to drive 2.5 hours to go see the Noho Wools tonight. That probably means I'll do it. Anyway, Joba's got you all weekend. We'll see you Monday. Same WoW channel. GO TIGER!

(Photo of Miguel Cabrera and Andy Van Slyke stolen from Let's Play Two.)

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More like Andy Van Sly! Aaaaaaand...scene.

He stole Miggy's tater chips

"I was at Senor Frogs last night and the frog kept making this funny face"

Step aside, Lobster Baby: There's a new cutest photo on WoW.

I went to an "audition" earlier today to be a baseball player extra for Rescue Me on F/X. A guy on my team had heard about it from a player in our league who, apparently, works for either the show or the production company.

Anyway, I get there, and it's all little kids. For what part or show, I don't know. Not my thing, at least. But they're crying, or cute, or bubbling with shit. And their parents were far, far worse.

So I wait. And wait. My guy (on my team) was there a few hours before, and he waited 10 minutes. I waited over an hour.

Before I go in, I'm informed there's one guy ahead of me. He's in his mid-30s, and svelte. The office was on W. 21st St., and this guy obviously had just stopped by Paragon before the audition: brand-new gray baseball pants (over white crew socks), brand-new road Yankees Jeter jersey, brand-new Yankees hat. He saw "baseball player" on Craigslist and straight went for it. The thing is, a minute before he went in he took off his hat and I saw he still had the thick paper piece inside, in the forehead - the part that forms the billowing billboard head that none of us wants in a hat. I wanted to call him over and subtly grab the hat, take the thick paper piece out, and throw it in the trash. I thought of a way to do this so that all the kids in the waiting area - all the kids who had yet to evolve into actors, the kids who had been given baseball hats for presents and knew that right away, the first thing you do is take out that thick paper piece in the front - would not notice it, but I couldn't. I was frozen, fixated on the two hipster models with headshots who were waiting mere feet from me, looking over at me and wondering what the hell this tall, bearded, allergy-ridden, dandruff-stricken, beer-gut behemoth was doing in the same room with them.

Then, I went in, said some things to the camera, mock-pitched and mock-hit, and that was it.

Anyway ... nobody will read this. But for some reason, this was the place to tell this strange little baseball story. Also ... I'm drunk.

And that pic scares the shit outta me.

*slow clap*

I thought this was going into Swingers territory.
"Billy is 11 years old."
"Did you double-down?"

I want to know why Phony was browsing the Craigslist casual encounters section for headlines involving baseball players.

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