What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Got Hurt

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Despite a decent amount of inclement New England weather this Winter, I stayed relatively injury free. Couple stubbed toes here, a few hangovers there. I also have a bit of chronic lower back pain developing which I attribute to work and I probably should get one of those rad looking lifting belts. But I'll tell you what. I look like Jack Friggin Lalanne next to the following Hummel Figurines.

  • CHIPPER Jones, Braves: We already made note of this yesterday in TQ but ol' Dave O'Brien at the AJC caught sight of the ingrown toenail that was so severe it kept him out of a game this week. I'm surprised he didn't take a couple rounds of duckshot and just shoot it off. He's a ballplayer, dammit!

  • Koji Uehara, Orioles: The Japanese ambassador to Baltimore hasn't thrown off of a mound in a couple weeks and thus, will start the season on the deel. Koji has a relatively long injury history compared to his time of service. Starting the season on the 15 day really shows that you've arrived as a Creampuff, though.

  • Jacoby Ellsbury, Red Sox: Missed a couple games with a sore arm. Descriptive. This is why Creampuff is harder to do in camp, obviously, because guys miss games with nebulous injuries that they would just play through in the regular season. If this was a game in July, Ellsbury would just be making weak throws to the cutoff man, sore arm or not.

  • Roy Oswalt, Lance Berkman, Astros: Baseball's other ace named Roy has a body that is seizing up like the engine on an '83 Oldsmobile. Hamstring tightness, chronic back problems, and a mysterious muscle pain on his left side. All of these things will contribute to... Oswalt starting Opening Day. Okay, then. Berkman had surgery in March that's left his knee "cranky, sore and swollen, like walking around on Urban Meyer. He will miss the opener.

  • Alex Gordon, Royals: Gordon has been dealing with a thumb ouchie for bout all of camp and will start the season on the deel. Progressing well, but still an auspicious way to begin a season for a guy trying to bounce back from an injury riddled 2009.

  • Jeff Suppan, Brewers: Suppan has landed on the DL, with cervical disc pain, aka a sore neck. This was caused by either vigorous headbanging at a MercyMe show or nodding vigorously in agreement to a speaker at a Tea Party rally.

  • Brad Lidge, J.C. Romero, Joe Blanton, Phillies: Neither Lidge nor Romero have fully recovered from offseason surgery, and Blanton has an oblique strain that could keep him out for as long as 6 weeks. Didn't even know Cuntry Joe had obliques.

  • Fred Lewis, Giants: Lewis has a strained ribcage that will likely start his season on the DL assuming the Giants keep him at all. Root for the DL Fred!! Don't get traded, San Francisco is lovely in the summer!

  • Cliff Lee, Mariners: Lee threw with no discomfort blah blah Curt Shilling yapping blah blah. Why do I feel like I'm gonna get sick of talking about Cliff Lee soon? What did he do to deserve it?


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2 Comments

Ellsbury w/out an arm can hit the cutoff guy harder than Damon

I know it's spring, but keep your head up, Catshirt. Derrek Lee: raped by a chair

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