Bad Water, Worse Baseball

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It didn't take a half hour for the Standells jokes to start. On Saturday afternoon, on what was the finest day of weather the city has seen this year, Boston Police cruised down Centre St. in my Jamaica Plain neighborhood announcing that our water was unsafe to imbibe, cook with, or brush our teeth with. They rolled slowly down the balmy and packed weekend streets speaking calmly through a bullhorn. It was like a combination of "Summer In The City" and Don DeLillo. Coffee, gone. Restaurants, crippled. Boiling for use to eliminate potential parasites was less than appealing when the temperature hit 85 yesterday.

Showering has been fine. We're using backup reserves from Chestnut Hill Reservoir. It's basically like pond water, although its proximity to BC makes me think I smell a little Natty Ice in it. But in general, an inconvenience of this magnitude (and that's what anyone should call it unless someone dies) is all encompassing. I didn't even know that a car bomb had been discovered in Times Square until this morning.

And it isn't even the worst thing that happened this weekend since the Red Sox got swept by the Orioles.

Add Kevin Youkilis to the injury pile, along with 3 outfielders. Snuff out any rotational optimism after Dice-K got shelled in his return (and then Wakefield got slammed trying to relieve him). The Red Sox leave April with a losing record for the first time since 1996. That year they "rebounded" to go 85-77 but still finished 7 games back. And in 2010, that record will leave you even further out. You karmic or religious types could speculate that our plague of unclean water was either a result of, or punishment for their putrid play. But they didn't even have the decency to be around for it. They were getting pantsed in Baltimore.

Even Dan Shaughnessy was out of town, which seems unfair. He was in Cleveland covering the Celtics (another one of my favorite teams for whom I am not particularly optimistic regarding the coming week, Go Bruins) and writing about how much he loves that city, particularly its "cab drivers who speak English and know their way around town." As opposed to our drivers here in Boston who only speak Klingon and are constantly driving into the ocean. How come he didn't have to be here to suffer with the rest of us? Why does circumstance have such a lousy sense of justice?

Today it is somehow both 80 degrees and grey/drizzly and I still can't go to the cafe for an iced tea. That bottled stuff is swill. Luckily, The Red Sox start a 3 game set with the also suffering and just swept Angels. Clay Buchholz, one of two bright spots for the team at the moment**, is on the mound and if the Sox don't snap out of it I might cry. At least then I could use my tears to brush my teeth.

*Look at that roster.
**FSSJD Drew being the other. 3 HR in the Baltimore series

(Photo stolen from Pat Greenhouse of the Boston Globe)

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Man, I picked a bad weekend to post the Boston tune, huh?

But how can Boston survive without their crappy Dunkin Donuts coffee?

Seriously folks, kudos to City Feed and Produce in Jamaica Plain for posting a helpful sign on their soda machine, unlike those cads at JP Licks across the street. JP LICKS POISONS CHILDREN.

just brush your teeth with a bottle of jack.


that crappy DD coffee is served above the requisite 212, only adding to its non-potability

Where have you gone, Tim Naehring?

Those nice people in the above pic have presumably paid for their water and left the store. So why is that dude still following them around?

I don't take cabs all that often, but one thing I've never had a problem with is them not knowing their way around the city. They're cab drivers! How long can one remain a cab driver without knowing how to get around the city?

Dmac: Especially when they're just taking you from your downtown hotel to the stadium or to the Rock and Roll Hall of Sandwiches. The Dave Clarke Monte Cristo wuz robbed!

So let's see, now the red sox need to go 90 and 47 the rest of the way to win over a hundred games. Still do-able. Somebody make the Angels brush their teeth for once...

But I thought you guys loved that dirty water?

+1, Clare.

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