Lasordapalooza Foretells End of Days

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The above painting illustrates something we're all looking forward to. A recently expired Tommy Lasorda kneeling before the Lord, being judged, and being expelled to hell. It's part of LASORDAPALOOZA. The Pomona Public Library is holding the event to honor Tommy Lasorda, as sponsored by the Baseball Reliquary, and it can only mean that the apocalypse is nigh:

The displays offer a candid look at Lasorda's career, including highlights such as his World Series championships as Dodgers manager and his many charitable endeavors, and lowlights such as his estrangement from his gay son, his highly public rifts with former players, and his penchant for self-promotion.

The displays incorporate artworks, artifacts, photographs, and a variety of documents which provide unique insights into the storied career of this Los Angeles Dodgers legend and one of baseball's greatest goodwill ambassadors.

I...I'm having trouble processing all of this. The enormous painting in the National Portrait Gallery was one thing but this? Is it parody? Please let it be parody! How can we, as aesthetes, be honoring such a deplorable figure!

Mock him! Mock this man lest he think the entire event is just another stop along his lifetime achievement path towards immortality!

(courtesy of the LA Daily News and Deadspin)

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The only art I would be interested in is a video loop of him getting hit by that bat in the All-Star game and falling on his fat ass.

According to Google Translator, the phase at the bottom says "This is not a pitcher."

It sure isn't.

Damn, JC is jacked in that painting

Well, that cross probably weighs a good 250 lbs.

God: J, who let this schmuck in?
JC: I'll pound his ass back to hell, er, LA.

@ Colonel: No, but I heard his son was. HEY-O!

I'll stop now.

"The power of Christ compels you. GO FOR THE LEFTY-LEFTY MATCHUP"

It really is the end of days. I got a job. Ugh. No more drinking in the afternoon. Well, not on most afternoons.

Congrats, Chief. I'll drink for you.

/pours vodka into Cheerios

Congrats, Chief. You are once again a tax-paying member of society.

HA! The Chief hasn't paid taxes since Nineteen Dickity Six.

@Chief, congrats on the job. Got the skillz to pay the billz. You said no more drinking in the afternoon, but you can still drink in the morning, right? Now go pour your self a cocktail.

Holy shit! Major League 4!

Chief is working on the new Dances With Wolves / Major League mash-up, called Our Hut was Built with Larry A-Doby

Just so you know. My brother got iced early this morning before he took off to dive to Minneapolis

He's diving to Minneapolis? That sounds like a really cold swim.

Up yours Iracane!!! Do I point out every typo that you do? Oh wait I do. Nevermind keep going.

Fortunately, drinking and driving is not a crime in Wisconsin. It's a hobby.

@BCTF, Classic. That would be great if it was at your parents' house, and he had to explain the whole thing to them.

Exquisite Larry Doby joke, Nick.

That must be his apartment. Unfortunately I am the son that is burdened by living near our parents

A job AND an icing? Damn - that's a hell of a day already. Nice work, fellas!

I don't know if icing bros has a Jesus, but if it does that makes matt St. Peter, at least.

And, as horrifying as that painting is, it does provoke thought about public image against the real life one leads, and which of the two counts with the guys who matter. But still horrifying.

Is Lasorda holding up a frame around himself in the painting?


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