The Pirates Rally Train is Fueled by Baseballs, Nightmares

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To help get you psyched up for the big #HEIST in August, we've been posting videos from the good folks at PNC Park. Above, please enjoy a short clip of the Pirates rally train which looks like it came straight out of the 1970s. Pretty sweet, but can someone explain how said train runs when baseballs are the only fuel it's fed?

Also posted today: the official Octavio Dotel entrance video with soundtrack from Jose Lima's reggaeton band.

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I'm guessing that rally train video doesn't get used to often for the Pirates.

Seriously, is there a more parochial major city in the U.S. than Pittsburgh? I find it quasi-charming, for the record.

Is anyone driving to the heist from the uppermidwest area?

Too fitting that the rally train is operated by a gay pirate (they call him "Jolly Rogerer") in the Steel City.

This comment is dedicated to the Steelworkers of America: Keep reaching for that rainbow.

That train also runs on Iron City beer.

If you are in Pittsburgh and a mustachioed man asks if you want to ride the Pirate Train, you say NO!

I heard Don Cornelius conducted the rally train as a side gig.

The old train ran on Primanti's griddle leavings and was fired with well-timed blasts of anti-fungal spray, usually by Tom Candiotti.

Those baseballs? Filled with pure, uncut cocaine harvested from Keith Hernandez and Dave Parker's timeshare Bolivian plantation.

Even though the Pirate Rally Train only runs 3 times a month, it's still more efficient than anything that has to do with SEPTA or the MTA.

/Megalopolis Transit Humor

Where are Tigger and Bugs Bunny to warn me on the dangers of shooting heroin?

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