This Tweet In Baseball: Your Weekly Update on the Sport's Twits

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Putting together a weekly roundup of the 140-charactered musings of baseball players is really not as easy a task as one would assume. Simply put: professional athletes are REALLY BORING. Granted, most players aren't even on the Twittersphere. I estimate that under 10% of active rosters are made up of Twooters; chances are that the guys who tweet are the ones with more interesting personalities.

But really, scrolling through page after page of links to press releases, inspirational quotes, and Dirk Hayhurst's inanity makes it really hard to find the real gems. Thank goodness for our go-to guys like Chris Coghlan who are always good for an unintentionally hilarious utterance on a weekly basis. Did anyone really expect a guy whose handle is "Cogz4Christ" to be able to spell "Mecca" correctly?

Brett Anderson fancies himself baseball's own Roger Ebert. Unlike Dan Haren, however, Anderson is mesmerized by the power of film and cannot turn away when his favorite movie comes on. Seriously, he won't even leave the house.

Don't tell Matt Antonelli, but on my recent trip to the West Coast, I walked by no fewer than three In 'N' Out restaurants and not once did I go inside to get me some animal-style vittles. Perhaps he's referring to beat writers when he tells us this.

Hey, Ben Zobrist, that's what she said. Literally, I think he and his wife share a Twitter account.

Scott Boras' best bud, that dastardly coward Jon Heyman, dares to throw our favorite tweeting manager under the bus. Yes, Jon, Ozzie does already know everything, like where to stay when visiting Minneapolis.

When he's not racing cars, throwing gas, or being generally straight-edge (whatever that means), C.J. Wilson is doing the same quotidian tasks that you or I or greaseballs on TV would do because we must.

New Blue Jay Fred Lewis posted a link to some drivel on Bleacher Report but let's not bury him for it. We can all agree with the thesis statement of that piece: Brian Sabean is a horse's patoot. Lord know's Fred agrees.

Ugh, Ian Stewart, people who tweet about where they're eating and what fine wine they are drinking are irritating.

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If I walked by 3 In-N-Outs I would have stopped at 2 of them, maybe all three.

Look at Heyman getting all high and mighty when he blocks people for pointing out what a cunt he is.

(i.e. me)

I bought a log of MOTIVATION for the fireplace this past winter, but it made the whole house smell like pine tar. No good.

I think I just dropped a log of MOTIVATION, if you know what I mean.

I know of couples sharing email addresses (which is just beyond retarded), but this is the first shared Twitter account I've seen. The Zobrists need a log of trial separation.

Rob just erased from their account.

Jon Heyman apparently managed to break BOTH of his shift keys.

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