For the second time in a week, Rays manager Joe Maddon has been ejected from a baseball game, this time for standing up against the Umpire Joe West campaign to speed up games. Joe Maddon likes his baseball like he likes his lovemaking: slow and with tons of unnecessary pitching changes!
During the controversial ninth inning, home plate ump Angel Hernandez did not grant a timeout to Rays slugger Carlos Pena batting with runners on the corners and his team down. He so desperately needed to adjust his cup but nay, Hernandez wanted the game to continue at a medium pace. Joe took umbrage, argued with Hernandez, and got tossed from the game. Maddon then headed up the baseline to argue with third base ump Joe West, compared notes on the latest vintage of Rhone wines, discussed the passing of Louise Bourgeois, kicked some dirt, and went to sulk in his office.
Courtesy of the good people at TampaBay.com, here's Overmanagin' Joe chatting up the beat boys during the postgame:
Maddon's solution to speeding up the game?
"Make commercials less long."
Eloquent! And probably impossible. See, Joe, these "commercials" are "sponsored" by "companies" that want to pay MLB to "advertise" their "erectile dysfunction pills" which then goes to pay your salary! Sorta directly, actually! One could say Joe Maddon's collection of fine Tuscan wines was built on boner juice dollars.
Instead, let's put an end to the constant ballet of relief pitchers dancing about the mound and the endless adjustment of sluggers' wristbands that eat up our precious minutes. Support Country Joe West in his mission to speed up games by abusing his umpiric powers! Reject Joe Maddon in his quixotic attempt to cut down the number of cell phone commercials during ballgames! Free markets now!
In the end, Maddon's feces-throwing act was not in vain as Kevin Gregg, the opposing pitcher, was also tossed out of the game for arguing balls 'n' strikes and the Rays came back to win. And then the TV folks went to commercial. WIN FOR CAPITALISM.