Lou Piniella Is Gonna Get Fired

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The Cubs are having a terrible, terrible season. And the recent success of the White Sox (though they've dropped 2 straight) has only put the mess over on the North Side into starker relief. Carlos Zambrano has had one of the strangest years in recent memory, first being demoted from #1 starter to the bullpen, and now being shelved for an indeterminate amount of time due to a hissy fit he threw in the dugout on Friday. He's on the restricted list and it sounds like they're hauling him off to the funny farm.

"Beginning Wednesday, Carlos will undergo a treatment program with mutually agreed upon doctors from the Players' Association and Major League Baseball," Cubs general manager Jim Hendry said Monday. "Basically, he will have to follow the treatment for his issues and be evaluated properly, and if the program is acted on properly in accordance to what the doctors they signify he needs to work on and improve on, and follow their directives, Carlos will not be reinstated any time until after the All-Star break."

Asked specifically what type of doctor Zambrano would see, Hendry declined to elaborate.

"We've obviously had a lot of transgressions with Carlos in the past so I think we all agreed that it was time to go and get help, then address the apologies later," Hendry said.

So there's your update from Hendry. Apparently, Kevin Millar is the only person that's spoken to Zambrano and, you'll never believe this, had a bunch of stuff to say. I won't blockquote any of it because then I'll have his voice inside my head. Seems like you can comment on the situation from everyone except Cubs' manager. You remember him, right? He used to be Lou Piniella.

Buzz Bissinger, who I used to really like until I started following him on Twitter, was basically advocating for the firing of Piniella last night. And unlike the benefits of constantly using the word "douchejuice", it's hard to disagree with him on this one. Fredi Gonzalez got canned in Miami after having a better record than the Cubs with a much lower payroll. Personnel issues and dissent may have done him in, and Piniella's got the mother of all those at the moment. Trey Hillman got fired in KC by a team with approximately 0 expectations, but nearly the same winning pct. There is no legitimate reason to keep Piniella on past July if the Cubs are still 10 games out and he continues to seemingly not care.

It's hard to imagine Piniella getting canned by anyone. He's a guy that seems like he's never had a boss in his life, no matter what his job was. But it's coming. Maybe it will come as a "resignation" but we'll all know. It'll be a bitter send off to a memorable managerial career, but it can't be any worse than having to sit through the rest of this stinker.

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I, for one, would like the circus in Chicago to continue.


When reached for comment, the average Wrigley-bound Cubs fan shotgunned a warm can of Bud, loosened his Sperrys, and made out with a once-attractive blonde.

Apropos of not much, did you know: "Piniella and Don Wakamatsu are the only managers in Mariners history to have a winning record in a tenure of at least one season."

I believe you mean "Old Style" instead of Bud. The local brew that's just as crappy!

Incidentally, does anyone else find it ridiculous to hear Lou "I was the McEnroe of baseball until the prostate medication neutered me" Pinella describe Zambranos behavior as "completely inappropriate?"

The Cubs are probably the only team in the league with a losing record against the Pirates this season, so there's that.

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