No One Invited Spike Owen To The Red Sox Reunion

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The Red Sox of Boston wrapped up a tidy 8-1 homestand with a sweep of the Dodgers last night. Each game had some exceptional moments. Saturday featured a walkoff laser from worldbeater Dustin Pedroia. That midget has a 10 game hitting streak, 8 of which have been multi-hit jobs. Yesterday's 2-0 win featured another gem of an outing from Clay Buchholz, a player I once doubted but was clearly very wrong about. Hey, it happens.

But it was Friday night's series opener that drew the most pub. A couple of notable faces were in the park. Most importantly, Rhianna was there. She's not only 50 times more listenable than Lady Gaga, but she also makes her look like Strega Nona. Dear Matt Kemp: Thanks for going 2 for 13 this weekend AND bringing her along. Come back anytime.

Then sitting up in the Green Monster seats was none other than old Bruce Banner himself, Roger Clemens. Apparently Clemens signed over 100 autographs. Must be nice to sign something other than court orders and affidavits for a change. He seemed to enjoy himself and I for one was happy to see him back. I don't understand the average fan's need to wish continued misery on an athlete they've never been closer than 500 feet to, but still feel wronged by. Que sera, Rocket. Take in as many games as you can before that Mindy McReady tape comes out.

And someone else was there toooo... oh yeah. Manny Ramirez. Nick Cafardo had a couple interesting tidbits about that guy in his recounting of the weekend.

Ramirez told Red Sox Spanish Beisbol Network play-by-play announcer Uri Berenguer Saturday that he regretted his trans gressions in Boston. "There's no reason I should have behaved that way in Boston,'' Ramirez told Berenguer in a 45-minute private conversation in Spanish.

Berenguer said that Ramirez no longer speaks of retirement, and said that the length of his career will be determined by a higher power. Berenguer said Ramirez has found God, reads the Bible on a daily basis, and quoted scriptures constantly during their conversation.

I felt almost 100% certain that Manny wouldn't pull us for the God loop. SO DISAPPOINTED. And feeling shame for his behavior? I don't even know who this guy is anymore. I always enjoyed Manny's irreverence for the way the game "was supposed to be played" because his success, and the team's success when he was playing well, was undeniable. His slacker style not only won games but immediately branded his detractors with a "back in my day" scarlet letter that let us know we didn't have to care about their opinions. And now he's going soft on us. Dude's a few short steps away from saying "hustle" on Baseball Tonight. Someone give this guy an elderly traveling secretary to assault. STAT.


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15 Comments

Dude's a few short steps away from saying "hustle" on baseball tonight.

Saying and doing are two different things if you're a minority. OR SO IT SEEMS.

I accidentally listened to ESPN last night and Curt Schilling was bragging to Orel Herschiser about his high score in World of Warcraft.

It's sad that Lady GaGa has a better haircut than Rhianna. As far as Manny quoting scripture I think he is trying to fool us like Boyd Crowder from "Justified."

Is Uri Berenguer the non-union, Mexican equivalent of Jake Taylor?

Manny and Andy Pettite go to Bible study together.

Manny also really liked this Bible...until he sold that grill on eBay.

If a cookbook has an exclamation point in the title, you know it's good.

Ahem, you KNOW! it's good.

Also, I guess that series of Grillin' Manuals appeals to polygamists and/or swingers. (Someone explain what this woman means by "other husband")

@freetzy

Watchu' linkin' to Willis?

(Even though yes, you re-linked correctly)

"It's all about broadening horizons."

Indeed.

I think the next Gaga video should put her in a house overflowing with spaghetti.

best reference EVER

"Get it and just open a page. Have at it."

Ew gross, Mom.

"So if you can't be with the one you grill, honey, grill the one you're with!"

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