Selfish Galarraga Steals Spotlight From Ken Griffey Jr.'s Retirement

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Are you effing kidding me? Armando Galarraga, a pitcher who wears the Spring Training-esque No. 58 for the Detroit Tigers, just threw the third perfect game of the season. This is a complete guess, but with confidence I can say that this is the highest number worn by a pitcher who has thrown a perfect game1.

Austin Jackson made an incredible catch in left center for the first out of the ninth. Jason Donald, sent over to Cleveland in the Cliff Lee trade, made the last out, a very nice play by Miguel Cabrera.

Wait, what?

Let's be clear: This was a perfect game. And if umpire Jim Joyce is not fired tomorrow, Major League Baseball is a fucking joke. (My mom called me to express this point right after it happened, only without the profanity.)

On the plus side, at least we'll have instant replay in all of baseball soon. Because that was a perfect game, and some stupid umpire blew a hell of an easy call.

1I actually looked up a couple numbers, and now I am super confident I am correct.

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I cannot comment on this without the invention of new swear words.

Sorry Jerkwheat. It's your birthday, and all you got was a rock.

Galarraga usually likes a little foreplay before he gets fucked.

I'm so glad to see that everyone, universally, no matter what team they are fans of, is siding with Galarraga. We got reamed by Big Papi's bat basically.

Not literally by Ortiz or the Sox, I just figured the metaphor of a big guy using a big bat would be effective.

It's not anymore, but it had his date of life as: October 3, 1955 - June 2, 2010

Gargle w/ saltwater is lucky it was just a hit and not an ejection
Throwing a perfect game is definitely "showing up the ump"

Nice birthday: Jim Joyce shit in Jerkwheat's hat.

Rob, you're wrong. Jim Joyce took a shit in Jerkwheat's mouth.

Holy shit. Griffey retired AND an ump blew a perfect game?! Too bad I missed all that while hosting a rather poorly attended (this week, anyway) open mic...

Jim Joyce pissed in Jerkwheat's cheerios.

"I don't know what to do," says first base umpire Jim Joyce about the worst safe/out call since the 1985 World Series. "I cost that kid a perfect game...Biggest call of my career and I kicked the **** out of it." --Jim Joyce

Imperfection is fine, but admitted imperfection minutes after a game is unreasonable. Confer with the other umps and get it right when it happens, Colonel Mustard.

This would have never happened if we had robot umpires.

BoL touches on the bigger point here - replay be damned, weren't there three other umps watching this happen? Sure, the guys at second and third might not have had great looks at it, but couldn't HP umpire Marvin Hudson step in?

Also, Joyce clearly didn't think that Galarraga belonged in the same pitching pantheon as Halladay, Koufax, Johnson, and Tom Browning.

Haha, I can't believe I was actually this angry. Sorry, readers, from now on I'm sticking to writing about cats running onto fields! Speaking of that, when's the last time that happened?

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