Sweet Mary Mother of Ripken are the Orioles ever bad! A weekend sweep at the hands of the Blue Jays (who worsened themselves 53 home runs in May) brings the OrioLOLes record to a whopping 15 wins against 36 defeats, worst in baseball. 6-21 on the road, 6-17 within their own division. Here we are on June 1st and the Orioles have won fewer games (15) than games they're out of first place (18.5 back of baseball's best Rays.)
Even the 2009 Orioles—losers of 98 games at season's end—weren't this bad. Over the last few seasons the Orioles actually boasted a moderately frightening offense, offset by terrible pitching and defense. Things looked better heading into 2010, as the litany of hot young arms slated to take over the rotation would finally give the Orioles the run prevention they desperately need.
The road to fourth place riches is a bumpy one, and everything that could go wrong for the Orioles almost certainly has. The offense is anemic, with linchpin Nick Markakis unable to carry the load alone. Found money Ty Wigginton continues clouting dingers, but the absence of WoW favorite Brian Roberts coupled with poor play from former All Star Adam Jones and former non-corpse Miguel Tejada spells doom for the O's O. Ex-consensus savior Matt Wieters struggles to get on base and hit for power, though he's become quite adept at leaving sob-filled messages on Bryce Harper's voicemail.
Projected ace Brian Matusz forgot how to miss bats. Free agent workhorse Kevin Millwood can't buy a break with all of Angelos's money. Young starters like Chris Tillman and Brad Bergesen came to camp with high expectations, only to toil in AAA for much of the early season, either fighting ineffectiveness or service time issues. The bullpen stands in taters; the free agent closer hits the DL after some awful outings. His exciting replacement joins him mere weeks after earning the role.
Yup, things are bad in Baltimore. Even worse than (obligatory Wire reference). Manager Dave Trembley spends his nights irrigating the disgusting blisters on his backside, unfortunate by-products of too many nights atop a red hot seat. It's a mess. If only there was one simple & succinct way to describe the state of the Orioles. One tangible example of everything they've done wrong and everything going wrong for this star-crossed franchise...
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