1001 Ways to Beat the Draft: Today's Afternoon Games

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  • Rockies at Marlins, 12:10: Josh Johnson will show the Colorado contingent what a real Cy Young candidate looks like. Fella hasn't allowed more than three runs in a start since April 5th; he's looking for his eighteenth straight quality start and is inching up the league leaders in K's. Oh, did I mention the 15-inning scoreless streak? I could heap more praise on young Josh but I don't want to stress his back.

  • Nationals at Reds, 12:35: Returning Redlegs hero Edinson Volquez will make his second start since Tommy John surgery against someone who's old enough to remember Tommy John before Tommy John surgery. Livan Hernandez just wants to get the heck outta Cincy and back to D.C., where they know what to do with their chili. This one's on MLB Network for those of you who are unemployed or well-enough employed to have cable TV in your office.

  • Blue Jays at Tigers, 1:05: Not sure why the Tigers aren't holding this crazy promotion during this weekend's Blue Jays series in Detroit. Seems like a great way to stick it to the visiting team. Vernon Wells is 5-for-7 in his career against Justin Verlander. This is vital information.

  • Padres at Braves, 1:05: DIVISION LEADERS RUBBER. After today, the next time these two teams meet will either be in the playoffs or in Matt_T's copy of Frank Thomas Big Hurt Baseball for the Super Nintendo. Braves starter Tim Hudson has never lost to San Diego. Padres starter Clayton Richard has never seen The Royal Tenenbaums. Something's gotta give.

  • Phillies at Cardinals, 2:10: I've been thinking about a way to fix the struggling Phillies for the past few days and I think I've got the answer. Forget bringing over a starting pitcher and screw the whole trade Jayson Werth idea. The real solution? Trade Raul Ibanez to the Mets for Jeff Francoeur. One troubled asset for another. Rivals helpin' rivals. So easy and so hilarious!

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8 Comments

President Obama prefers shredded to ladled, disappointing, but each man must choose.

Eight straight. Ain't it great?

Three runs on one hit in two innings of work for Volquez. I'm almost impressed by that...

ME VS PHONY GWYNN

SWEETWATER BEER vs SD FISH TACOS

A WINNER IS EVERYONE

Never mind. Not impressive anymore. Dusty just pulled Volquez with one out in the third after coughing up three more runs.

Livan Hernandez just threw a complete game. WHAT YEAR IS THIS!?

@Ed
That's a lot of low 80's fastballs

Wait, Livan can still win games without benefiting from NL Umpires and their strikezone that expands 40 inches to either side of the plate?

And matt, I have never had Sweetwater, but the only place on earth with better Mexican food than the East Bay is San Diego. This includes Texas and Arizona. Phony wins.

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