Brian Wilson's Shoes Offend, Clearly Weren't Made for These Times

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Epic edgebro Brian Wilson is, once again, putting together an excellent season closing games in the cool, marine-soaked darkness of San Francisco. Sky-high strikeout rates matched only by his sky-high histrionics in honor of passed, ill, or out-of-town family members.

Wilson decided walking the path of true change wasn't enough to satisfy his individualistic urges; offbeat footwear is the only source of true rebellion left. Wilson took the mound on Tuesday night wearing the orange beauties seen at right; mowing down the teal bedecked Fish (around a Dan Uggla home run). While I have long been under the impression that art deco was all the range in South Beach, Marlins manager Edwin Rodriguez disagrees:

"We saw that yesterday," Rodriguez said. "We asked (the umps) about his shoes. A little bit too bright, too flashy. We asked if there was any rule about that he said the rule is more intended for the sleeves and there's no rule for the shoes.

There's rules for jewelry and all kinds of things. Shoes like that are a little bit too much. I think there should be a rule. They should be consistent. There's a rule for the uniform and there should be a rule for the shoes.

Turns out Mr. Rodriguez is quite the taskmaster. No pies! No flashy shoes! But wait, pies are okay, but no jumping! Sure, Wilson's shoes are ugly and inadvisable; but that does that mean they give him an unfair advantage? The Marlins have offended us all with the vast sea of orange seats for years, what makes shoes so different?

AP Image gentle borrowed from Daylife

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God Only Knows what he'd be without shoes

I'm Waiting For The Day when managers and players won't bitch about inconsequential shit when they lose.

Wouldn't It Be Nice...

I wonder if he bought those shoes in Kokomo.

I'm not gonna make any puns. That's not me.

Seriously, what the fuck is Rodriguez's problem. I Know There's an Answer, but c'mon...

Can we just say that Brian Wilson offends, and leave it at that? Because there's a lot to hate about that guy...

awww, man... We were having fun, fun, fun 'til the Larry took the T-bird away...

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