- DON'T you just love the faux stories that are actually spam that pop up on Google News? I do, because they lead to awesome wording like this: "Baseball scores that are too high propel the MLB to request random testing in the minor leagues."
- WHAT should you do if you a baseball tournament game is rained out? How about just awarding the trophy to the Long Island team, because that's what happened. I don't know anything else about this story because of the Newsday paywall, unfortunately.
- DO you want to see the Phillies sex-for-tickets woman wrestle one of Tiger Woods' mistresses? What if I told you Screech was refereeing the bout? It's Thursday in Jersey; how it's not a cross-promotion for the season premiere of Jersey Shore I don't know.
- HOW drunk do you think I got at the Phillies game today? Pfft, like I can afford stadium beer prices.
Oh, but wait! I wrote that last question before I actually went to the game, but it wasn't posted until 4:45 p.m. thanks to the magic of the Internet (i.e., Drew posting it). Yes, I pulled a MItch Albom! Somebody ought to give me a couple awards now.
I won't be attending a baseball game tomorrow, so look for more accurate content on Tuesday.