Rocco Rehabs, Strains Soup, Dusts Cookies

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As you have no doubt heard (and quickly dismissed), WoW favorite1 Rocco Baldelli began the long, slow road back to major league health benefits in late July. Rocco re-signed with original club in Tampa after serving as a minor league hitting instructor and all around swell guy.

In addition to scaring many of the Rays bonus babies into investing in long-term T-Bills, Rocco took swings in the cage and readied himself for an unlikely comeback. With the Rays offense struggling and Creampuffs falling left and right, the stage was set for Rocco to make his triumphant return to the low minors.

Recall the halcyon days of 2008, the original Raysopaclypse. Our hero Rocco, returning from mysterious illness later diagnosed as "cells no worky too good" cloaked in a beard of some acclaim. 2010 Rehab Rocco comes complete with a new gimmick in the facial hair arena, as seen below:


In keeping with the proud tradition of wholesome fun and desperate marketing, Rocco's current employers the Charlotte Sea Crabs are running Rocco Baldelli Mustache Night on August 4th. Never let the lure of a supernova big leaguer running through town go uncapitalized! The Sea Crabs plan to award a free hat & ticket to Saturday's game to all fans with a "naturally-grown moustache." The team is staging moustache contests across three categories, celebrating the filmography of Tom Selleck and featuring the music of Frank Zappa (!) as between inning entertainment.

I applaud the good people with the Stone Crabs for their Minor Enterprise and, of course, Rocco Baldelli for sticking with the game he loves. Giving up on the only thing you're even known can't be easy, here's hoping we see Rocco in the playoffs once again.

1 - Views may not reflect those of Walkoff Walk

Image courtesy of Minor League Baseball Dot Com

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I think there are some stone crabs living in that stache.

They's shooting Frida Kahlo prints out of the T-shirt cannon, y'all!

Drew, is still hoping for Rocco Baldelli Mustache Ride Night.

Take a ride on the Woonsocket Rocket!

The degree to which that picture represents what "Rocco Baldelli" should look like in my mind is alarming.

If you asked a non-baseball fan "What does Rocco Baldelli look like?" they sketch artist that very image.

Rocco's channeling the spirit of Sal Fasano, I see...

He should be mindful of what he channels, what with the channelopathy and all.

Rocco's aunt taught him how to trim that just right.

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