Speculating the Francisco Rodriguez Assault Allegations

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Last night, beleaguered Mets closer Francisco Rodriguez was arrested for getting physical and aggressive with his father-in-law and faces charges of third-degree assault, a misdemeanor. Via the Daily News, here's what we know so far:

Rodriguez and his wife's father brawled in a tunnel just outside the Mets clubhouse in the moments following the team's 6-2 loss to the Colorado Rockies.

The father-in-law suffered facial abrasions and a head injury and was taken by ambulance to Flushing Hospital shortly after the altercation, police said.

It was not immediately clear what sparked the fight between the 28-year-old relief pitcher and his 53-year-old father-in-law, police said.

Reasons unclear? Motives unknown? Lack of details? That is where we, the uneducated and ill-informed blogger comes in! Let's throw out a list of possible reasons why Frankie Rodriguez punched his father-in-law in the head. Speculation!

Ooh, I sense a pattern! No matter what caused the tiff, maybe someone should tell Frankie to relax, amirite? Eighties reference! High five.

Assault allegations be damned, K-Rod is actually having a very good year: his strikeouts are up, his walk rate is down, and he's given up just three home runs on the year. His K/BB rate is the highest it's been since 2006. Sure, the Mets are barely a .500 team but it's no fault of their (albeit overpaid) closer. Maybe if Jerry Tranuel would use K-Rod in important game situations outside the normal ninth-inning save scenarios, he wouldn't be losing his shit on his poor father-in-law. And maybe the Mets wouldn't be blowing eighth inning leads quite as much.

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Can I say roid rage? I'm gonna say roid rage.

His K/BB rate is the highest it's been since 2006.

So it's no surprise he punched somebody out instead of walked, amirite?

I'd be pissed too if Acosta was in over me too. That guy is almost Dan Kolb levels of bad

Assault allegations be damned, K-Rod is actually having a very good year

And some of Charlie Manson's tunes weren't half bad either!

This reminds me of a Lockhorns strip. Or was it Andy Capp? Anyway, it was one of those hilarious domestic abuse comics.

What he really wanted was a Red/Cards type of brawl. Sadly, only his father-in-law showed.

'Tis nothing a little anger management can't cure - just ask Carlos Zambrano.

Mr. Met is frantically searching Amazon for XXXXXXL boxing headgear.

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