Great Moments in Creampuffery: Paul Konerko

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Paul Konerko is putting together a damn fine season in Chicago. His tater tots are numerous, his on base percentage is enviable. Doing this all in the middle of a Ozzie's daily circus makes it that much more commendable.

"Paulie" is the de-facto captain of the White Sox and something of a demigod among Pale Hose supporters. Last night against the Twins, Paul Konerko added to his legend and secured himself in the hearts of the Broad Shouldered Boosters.

In the second inning of last night's loss to the unstoppable Gardenhire killing machine, Paul Konerko took a Carl Pavano offering high and tight. So tight, in fact, that it bonked directly off his considerable beak! Watch the video for yourself, if you dare.

Konerko hit the ground, clutching his Snookied face. Ozzie and the Sox trainer rushed out to tend to the slugging first basemen, searching the batter's box for stray chicklets and preparing to summon a pinch runner. If you watch at the :45 second mark of the above video, you'll see Sox trainer Herm Schneider literally dragging Konerko off the field. Except Paulie won't go.

Konerko argues his way back onto the field, stuffing his nose with gauze (presumably to prevent his few remaining brain cells from seeping out) and taking his rightful spot at first base. Konerko, naturally, homered in his very next at bat; giving people who cheer for A.J. Pierzynski on a nightly basis something worthwhile to yell about.

Konerko spent the rest of the night looking like a strange duck/donkey combination, his lips grotesquely swollen in a disturbing manner. In a now-lost season, one can only commend the gamerdom of the Sox captain while quietly wondering what the hell kind of lunatic doesn't spend the evening in the fetal position after taking an 89 mph two-seamer to the schnoz.

AP Photo via Daylife

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Duncan Keith is a bad influence.

Concussion? Fuck that, I have a meaningless game to play.

Busted grills build character!

By the way, am I the only one to realize the humor in this morning's headline? How very inappropriate on Yom Kippur Rob...

Let's see a show of hands: Who's tougher? Konerko or Derek "Laurence Olivier'' Jeter?
That's was some damn fine acting by the Yankee captain, although to paraphrase Joe Madden, I would hope teams I root for would be willing to make an ass out of themselves to reach base anyway they can.

I was not willing to enjoy Albert Pujols' JOURNEY TO COMFORT, so I might very well never see that video.

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