I Will Not Rest Until Rob Dibble Is Living In a Cardboard Box

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dibblecard.jpg

Well I must admit that I am glad the Fire Rob Dibble movement has resulted in a happy ending. Rob Dibble will no longer broadcast Nationals games, effective immediately, and will be temporarily replaced by Ray Knight. The call came in from the team (and not the regional sports network, MASN, that is lucky enough to broadcast both the Nats AND the Orioles) in response to Dibble's taunting jabs at golden boy Stephen Strasburg.

Unfortunately, it seems that Dibble's off-color misogynistic remarks were not the tipping point in his dismissal. Perhaps those remarks woke the Nationals up and they realized that hiring a colorful commentator to call your teams games isn't really a good idea when the guy is not only shitting on your fans but your players, too. Whatever, I'm happy for the Nats fans who no longer have to watch their team lose on mute. But what joy can I really get out of the firing when Rob Dibble is still gainfully employed by XM Radio?

It's a sin that thousands of folks who listen to the MLB Network Radio coverage on Sirius/XM every morning are subject to Rob Dibble's pseudo-analysis and dumb jock attitude without a single conflicting viewpoint. This is not selling the game, it's selling baseless conflict and in-your-face opinions. I'm embarrassed as a baseball fan every time I tune the channel in.

Heck, the entire "talent" pool on MLB Network Radio is made up of failed general managers like Jim Bowden, failed managers like Kevin Kennedy, and the charisma-challenged Ripken brothers. There is such a dearth of actual smart baseball insight on this channel! I realize that the target audience for sports talk radio does not exactly coincide with the pool of candidates for Mensa, but my question is: why?

Why can't MLB Network Radio bring in a nerd or a geek or a dweeb to argue salient points with these flat earth believers? I'm not asking for an entire sabermetric hour; we don't want folks falling asleep behind the wheel and crashing into an embankment. But I've had XM for over six years and the only time I can bring myself to listen to the channel is at night, when they actually update live games in a tidy whiparound fashion.

This morning drive bullshit has got to go. Remember that corny feature on ESPN where dopey Sean Salisbury would argue with geeky John Clayton about football nonsense? It wasn't exactly the smartest thing on TV but it gave the viewer a chance to take a side. Dumb jock or pencil-necked geek. Where are the geeks on MLB Network Radio? Who among us wouldn't listen in if Rob Dibble welcomed Rob Neyer on the air as a guest?

So I implore you, higher-ups at MLB Network Radio: bring back Baseball Beat, the Charley Steiner show featuring phoners from beat guys. Bring back Joe Castellano. Even bring back nasal-voiced Buck Martinez! But most of all: either get rid of Rob Dibble or pair him up with someone smart enough to point out his hard-headed idiocy. Heck, a dead retarded squirrel could easily match wits with that schmuck.


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15 Comments

The title of this post was inspired by Rob's hatred of Dibble and his love for 1980's synthesizer driven pop music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHt_GzOgjvA

MLB's Mike & Mike? I'm buyin'! (A shotgun)

"Well I must admit that I am glad the Fire Rob Dibble movement has resulted in a happy ending"

Happy endings are great

Today appears to be "We Will Fight Those Who Piss Off Nats Fans" day on WoW, so if Dmac doesn't take a swing at Screech I'm going to be sorely disappointed.

Peter Angelos is going down.

Ahh, Ray Knight. Famous for 1) scoring the winning run in Game 6, and B) marrying a professional golfer.

Radio is no place for Buck Martinez. Having met the man, I must tell you his museum quality bronze patina is something that needs to be admired visually.

Also, Dibble looks like he was stung in the face by a million bees on that card.

I had more Ray Knight baseball cards than any other player. Not by choice.

FOLLOW ME...FOLLOW ME TO FREEDOM

--Charley Steiner

I think I had that Rob Dibble card... But of all the baseball talking suit guys, I'm pretty sure I got Dan Plesac's cards the most.

I have like eleven Matt Vasgersian cards, most of which I got in a trade for a couple Tim Kurkjian rookie cards.

Are you using those Vasgersian cards in the hunt for the elusive Greg Amsinger rookie card? Or are they coasters along with your copy of the Bronson Arroyo CD?

The Tim Kurkjian cards were 5/8 normal size, and they didn't get along with the Turk Wendell cards. At all.

I have some Bobby Valentine sticker-cards, but the backing came off of them a little bit and oxidized the middle of them, so they're not as valuable as everyone thinks they are.

It was about seven or eight years ago when I heard the first nonsensical gibberish from Dibble. He and that other stalwart of common sense, Dan Patrick, had an afternoon radio show on the mouse-ears network. The steroid issue was becoming full blown and Dibble ranted on and on about how steroids wouldn't make you a better pitcher or hitter. His foresight was, and is, amazing.
And why is he leaning to the right in his baseball card? Looks as though he might be lifting his leg on something.

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