Small Panamanian Boy Kneels at Altar of Golden Mammon

| | Comments (9)

Don't be fooled, that's actually Mariano Rivera pausing to admire the new George Steinbrenner monument that was unveiled at Yankee Stadium last night, not a midget. That thing is big, right? So big that even David Wells looked like a normal-sized person when he walked past. So big that it's one of two things in Yankee Stadium you can see from space, along with David Wells' gut. Heck, if you look to the left of Steinbrenner's massive visage and, if you squint, you can barely make out Mickey Mantle's face on his plaque.

During his tenure as owner of the team, George Steinbrenner continued the Yankees tradition of memorializing its legends with stately monuments beyond the outfield fence. Babe Ruth, Miller Huggins, and Lou Gehrig had their monuments dedicated in the 1930s and 40s; Steinbrenner presided over the unveiling of Joe DiMaggio and Mickey Mantle's monuments in the 1990s.

Those five monuments were designed and built with the same dimensions, so for the enormous Steinbrenner plaque of doom to hang ominously above the rest seems somewhat odd. But Big Steinz paid the bills and snookered the city into building the shiny new ballpark that holds said monuments; I guess it's fitting for him to be honored with something big enough to entomb his entire extended family.

Is the massive size difference a tribute to Steinbrenner's gigantic ego? Or is it a way for George's sons Hank and Hal to prove to the rest of the world that they, too, can make brash, larger-than-life statements? Either way, Yogi Berra's inevitable monument is just going to have to settle for residing in the corner of Monument Park.

PREVIOUS: People in Ridiculous Pants Succeed in Getting Our Attention   |   NEXT: Matt Diaz Will Just Do Your Job For You, Klutzy Security Guard


Also in Yankee Stadium you can see from space, Michael Kay's head.

Also visible from space: the moobs of the ring leader of the yahoos in my section, who spent more time looking back at the other fans and cajoling the security guard than watching the game.

I like the flowers laid out next to the plaque. Clearly that's where the Yankees' dignity hit the wall and died.

They should make an even BIGGER one for Matt Nokes.

I was right, it is a giant bronze bust of an ass.

Apparently in NY, "Monument Park" = "Unfinished Basement".

This is tackier than Loudmouth Pants. YANKEES NUMBER 1!!

I can't make out the writing on the plaque. Did they spell Howie Spira's name right?

Like the Cuyahoga in '69, Chief is on fire.

Leave a comment