The Yankees Win At Everything, Including Deplorable Poverty

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Gosh, I can't imagine what life is like for all you non-Yankees fans, constantly cheering for runners-up, losers, and second-place teams. Looks like the Yankees have finished in first place again. Unfortunately, it's one of them races you don't want to win:

More than a quarter-million people in the South Bronx are living in poverty, making Rep. Jose Serrano's 16th Congressional District the poorest in the nation, according to the U.S. Census Bureau

The South Bronx had 256,544, or 38%, of its residents living below the poverty line, the new county-by-county Census stats show. The figures are worse for children, with 49% living in poverty.

New Yankee Stadium (and the gigantic dirt spot that was once Old Yankee Stadium) reside smack dab in the middle of the 16th Congressional District. It's a gigantic shrine to massive wealth and it comes complete with a chintzy Hard Rock Cafe and a fancy, upscale steakhouse where the grill cook brands every bone-in ribeye with the interlocking N-Y. So you can imagine what a strange contrast it is that the richest team in all American sports plays their games in the poorest place in the country.

Here's a solution for Rep. Serrano if he wants to push the number of people living in poverty down a bit: open up some cots and force the New York Yankees players, coaches, television guys, and the team's season ticket holders to shack up at the Stadium! Every night will be like a slumber party. We can all stay up and tell ghost stories and give each other makeovers and prank call cute boys. That should raise the total South Bronx population by enough that we'll drive the poverty level under 30%. Success! Suck on it, second poorest Congressional district in Detroit!

Or, you know, players like Curtis Granderson and CC Sabathia can continue to be super-charitable and help bring some of these young folks up with education and athletics. We should all be so charitable, especially to the children.

So join me now, and donate some dollars to the Food Bank of New York City. It's the least we can do to help out some folks in need.

UPDATE: (or as Matt_T suggests, act locally)


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12 Comments

No thanks, I'll donate locally.

I thought new stadiums improved the economic status of residents living nearby?

Hooduthunkit?

The cost of the Steinbrenner Monument could feed a South Bronx family of five for an entire year.

I think you are underestimating the cost of the monument and overestimating the cost of a year's worth of meals for a family of five.

I thought the Steinument could house a family of five.

Wait just a second here. You're telling me there's a food bank? So they'll lend me a hamburger, for which I will gladly pay them back next Tuesday?

Nice call Chief Wimpy, I mean Wahoo

I spent $5.99/minute donating to Chad Ochocino's food charity

But wouldn't there be even less money in the Bronx if the Jankees moved their operations elsewhere? So aren't the sales of $34 steak sangwiches actually helping the constituency, not hurting it?

Maybe they'd be helping the constituency if they were, you know, actually paying property taxes.

That's where I got tripped up.

The team could do something that would be simple to execute, not massively costly, and incredibly impactful. As an example:

1. Yankees announce that they will provide a take-home meal to every Bronx school child who qualifies/needs. Every school afternoon, and every day during the summer.
2. The team pays some out-of-pocket, but also leverages stadium vendors, other existing partners, and new partners who would love to a) build some cause marketing brand affinity and b) be associated with the Yankees.
3. Yankee players make periodic appearances at the schools served by the program.
4. Profit.

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