This Is What the Start of the Daniel Bard Era Looks Like

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jonathanpapelbonheadscratcher.jpg

No, it wasn't a save opportunity and no, by this point in the season, the Boston Red Sox no longer need a 'clutch' performance out of their star closer, but that photo above depicts Jonathan Papelbon at perhaps the sad nadir of his career. Called on to pitch the ninth inning with his team in a 5-1 hole against the resurgent Orioles last night, Paps allowed the following:

  • B. Roberts singled to shallow center
  • N. Markakis singled to left, B. Roberts to second
  • T. Wigginton singled, B. Roberts to third, N. Markakis to second, B. Roberts scored, N. Markakis to third, T. Wigginton to second on third baseman A. Beltre's fielding error
  • L. Scott singled to shallow left, N. Markakis scored, T. Wigginton to third
  • T. Wigginton scored, L. Scott to second on wild pitch
  • M. Wieters fouled out to third
  • A. Jones singled to shallow left, L. Scott to third
  • F. Pie grounded out to pitcher, L. Scott scored, A. Jones to second
  • R. Andino struck out swinging

Heck, I haven't seen that many singles since I visited your kid sister at her new job. Papelbon's ERA this year is verging on 4.00, his strikeout rate is down and his walk rate is up. One more blown save and he'll match the total of the two previous seasons combined. Fella's a ripe thirty years old, so maybe he doesn't like to be rushed in his old age.

Will the Red Sox bring him back next year, or ship him off for some spare parts and turn to young fireballer Daniel Bard as closer of the future? As a Yankees fan, I say keep Paps, so that should pretty much inform you how much confidence I'd have in that chucklehead. Rid thyself of the scourge and let young Bard shine!


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17 Comments

on third baseman A. Beltre's fielding error

The Hell you say! At least Paps can chalk this outing up to his inept defense. I'm sure he wouldn't stoop so low....

Papelbon will be pitching for the Mets next year.

Thank god.

The true start of the Daniel Bard era will begin with a hackneyed Shakespeare reference by CHB.

Maybe Papelbon and J.J. Putz can start a "WHY WON'T ANYBODY LET US CLOSE ANYMORE?! (besides the obvious)" support group in the off-season.

@Ed - and Brian Fuentes can be the acne-riddled geek in the back.

Jon Rauch can be the the club bully

I'M SHIPPIN UP TO DETROIT
WOAH-OH-OHHH
I'M SHIPPIN UP
TO BLOW GAMES IN ANONYMITY

I haven't seen that many singles since I visited your kid sister at her new job.

Did you enjoy your experience at Cold Stone Creamery?

Kid sister work for a speed dating company

Joke's on you. My sister is unemployed.

Does she want to earn 20 bucks the hard way?

Now, is that hard as in tarring roofs hard? Or are we settling on a male anatomy joke?

@nj

Even if the Tigs got Cinnapapelbon, we wouldn't have him close for at least a year. We have Valverde for '11 and possibly Ryan Perry. Or even Joel Zumaya would be a viable closer.

OMFG I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT THAT OUT WITHOUT LAUGHING. Zumaya as a viable anything other than candidate for higher insurance premiums is a joke.

Granted, man has a career in the Guitar Hero circuit.

@Elk

I was looking for a 2-syllable town to fit in the song rhythm. I could have also used "Oakland" or "Cincy," but those closer situations wouldn't have worked either. I guess the best choice would have been Houston, because Brandon Lyon is a turd.

Another good choice: not trying to explain my cutesy joke.

I'm dying over Cinnapapelbon.

Someone quickly photoshop a cinnabon roll onto Papelbon's head! ADNALE!

Someone fix my spelling of foreign languages! ANDALE!

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