Bleacher Report Writer Mike Schmidt Makes WaPo Debut

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In what seems to be a marriage made in hell, noted beltway rag The Washington Post has created a content-sharing deal with the idiotic fan-driven blog platform Bleacher Report. What is Bleacher Report, pray tell? Well imagine the irrational writing here at Walkoff Walk except with fewer babies dressed as animals and more Top Ten Female Golfer Cleavages slideshows.

To that end, any schmuck with a computer and a 9600 baud modem can 'publish' their 'thoughts' and 'opinions' about sports for anyone who deigns to visit the WaPo site and dare look for any sports coverage that isn't The Bog. Meanwhile, our stupid opinions and unfounded theses go completely unnoticed by the mass media. Where's our multi-million dollar cross-publishing deal? We're waiting for the phone call, Bon Appetit magazine.

The unsavory relationship between the two 'media' companies must have already been consummated, though, because when I opened up my copy of the broadsheet in the Walkoff Walk offices this morning, I saw this hilarious opinion piece written by none other than Phillies legend Mike Schmidt! Ha, it's funny because he was once a baseball player.

Here are Schmidt's thoughts on why the hitters have struggled so much this postseason. Hint: it's not the stellar pitching and defense, no no no!

Why is it so tough to put together a rally in this postseason?

I have the credentials to answer the question, maybe better credentials than anybody. I have two World Series trophies in my office - an MVP and a "Goat." In 1980, I hit in every game and had seven RBIs as we won the championship. In 1983, I went 1 for 20 with no RBIs and got the "Goat" trophy as we lost in five to the Orioles. What was the difference?

The difference was not the high quality pitching, it was my ability to execute my game plan in a relaxed at-bat.

In 1980, I got hits early and relaxed, a la Cody Ross. In 1983, I lined out against the right-center field wall with men on base the first two at-bats and started to press.

There's a big difference in "feel" and "confidence" when you hit in a big series early. It makes you relax, it gives you a sense that there's nothing to prove, that you've shown the opponent, your team and fans that you do hit under pressure.

So stop stressing so much, Alex Rodriguez and Ryan Howard and Vlad Guerrero! Relax a bit, chill out. Here, drink some of Dmac's Mike Schmidt Wine. There's no need to think so much about what pitches are being thrown or what location the pitchers are putting them in. Roy Halladay? Cliff Lee? Tim Lincecum? Chumps! They can all be beaten with the power of positive thinking.

Maybe Derek Jeter needs to start meditating at the plate and going to his happy place. After all, it's working for the Rangers' star slugger:

Josh Hamilton is a good example of a hitter in these playoffs that has a carefree approach at a time when most clam up. He hits with a smile, a soft stride and easy swing. He doesn't clamp down when he connects, just applies the sweet spot and lets the ball go where it wants - 380 feet is far enough.

Mike Schmidt's key to good hitting? Smiling! Man, if Tony Romo were a third baseman, he'd already be in Cooperstown. So Josh Hamilton's success has nothing to do with Boone Logan hanging sliders in Josh's hot zone, it's just because Hamilton is standing in that batter's box thinking of unicorns and rainbows.

(Sending a pallet of Diet Coke to the BBTF Newsblog)


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13 Comments

"380 feet is far enough."

Unless you hit it to dead center field, then it's far enough for an out.

You guys need to start getting on the FDR train. That is, we need more evening fireside loveglogs.

Mike Schmidt wine is the worst thing I've ever tasted. Maybe if I smiled more when drinking it I would have liked it, though.

Mike Schmidt has a cool attitude. Maybe Ryan Howard and the rest of the Phillies should hit up Dr. Chillgood for advice.

The quality of the Post's professional wrestling coverage has just improved TENFOLD.

Yeah, you've got to smile more when you drink it. Just hit the sweet spot and let the alcohol go where it wants - a .0380 BAC is enough.

548 is good, but I prefer the park-adjusted 524 varietal. MORE TANNINS.

Wait... isn't THIS an idiotic fan-driven blog platform?

Alex Rodriguez and Ryan Howard and Vlad Guerrero! Relax a bit, chill out

Yeah bros, I made you guys a chillwave mixtape and got a bag of bubba kush to share. It's okay Arod, Ryan and Vlad.

Wait... isn't THIS an idiotic fan-driven blog platform?

Yes but we don't get the recognition we deserve for being so stupid.

I like to think of my-self as one of the bigger idiots here.

That picture screams for this.

You know who isn't an idiot? MDT

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