Cincinnatians Must Relearn Basic Social Skills To Cope With Reds Home Game

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Sunday is going to be a busy day in downtown Cincinnati. Not only are the Bengals hosting the Tampa Bay Bucca...zzzzzz, not only are there TWO performances of Disney On Ice, but the Reds are hosting their first home game since Ron Gant was their home run leader. These three events are expected to draw over 100,000 excited people to the area. Sounds like a lot of fun actually, and I'm happy for the city.

But the KY Post (an online newspaper, not a Johnson & Johnson info site) apparently thinks that Reds fans are so out of practice at this whole playoff thing that they're gonna hold everyone's hands and walk them through this strange new postseason world.

On a collection of different reseller web sites from Major League Baseball's site to goticket.com and stubhub.com, available tickets for the 7 p.m. Reds-Phillies game are going from $200 to almost $400 for mid-level seats.

Depending on how the Reds play in game two of their series in Philadelphia on Friday, it could help push prices for remaining tickets even higher.

Well, that's not so egregious. We all know that scalpers have been part of the scene since tickets were invented, but if you just woke up from 1995 not only would you have bad breath and be horrified when you saw a current picture of Courtney Cox, but the omnipresence of legalized scalping in the form of brokers would be new to you. Now let's say you don't wanna pay these newjack crooks the bounty they're demanding. Well the KY Post has you covered there too.

A cheaper alternative for those who can live without seeing the game in person is to find a favorite bar or restaurant showing the game.

For the price of tickets currently available, you could easily pay for dinner for yourself, your family and some friends to watch the game on a wide screen high definition TV at your favorite watering hole.

If you select the restaurant option, consider calling ahead today or Saturday and seeing if you need to make reservations to get the best seats at that restaurant.

Good suggestions, but let me add a couple of my own. When you get to restaurant or "watering hole" don't just yell out names of things you feel like you want to eat. Ask for a menu. That will have all of the things that they serve on it. If you spill chili all over your Aaron Harang jersey, ask for a napkin. They will give it to you for free, and there may even be one at your table already. When your meal and/or the game is over, leave the restaurant and return home. You're not allowed to live there.

Along those same lines, I have one final tip for the Reds themselves. If you want to win the game you should try and get a hit this time.


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7 Comments

Dear Reds fans,
YOU PEOPLE ARE A BUNCH OF FUCKING IDIOTS!

Love,
The KY Post

I prefer the Astroglide Times for my news.

I'm just glad The Who isn't performing a concert in Cincinnati this weekend.

/too soon?

Sad girl, lightbulb guy, and depressed guy, all in one week? If we don't find a way to include money baby by tonight, we've failed you as a blog.

Sad girl, lightbulb guy, and depressed guy = WoW trifecta

Don't overload them! Reds fans had a hard enough time trying to find Riverfront Stadium.

Reds fans: unlike your northern Kentucky homes, the Ballpark will have indoor plumbing. Please refrain from urinating in your 32-oz 2010 Playoffs Commemorative Soda Cup.

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