Marlins Rookie Logan Morrison is Charming, Loses Tires

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I realize that our nation is barely struggling its way out of a crippling recession, and I realize that Florida, with its numerous foreclosures, abandoned empty lots, and crippling unemployment, is the epicenter. But who thought that one of our real heroes, Florida Marlins rookie outfielder Logan Morrison, would be affected in such a stark and criminal manner?


That's the charming Morrison's sweet ride up on blocks (well, up on two blocks) outside his South Florida condo. Looks like some unsavory characters descended in the night and walked away with four new tires, presumably to have some good times. Sure, LoMo's got enough cash to buy a fancy, white Lexus but as he is still yet unable to cash in with free agent dollars, he's too poor to get his McMansion in a safe neighborhood.

No worries, I'm sure insurance will cover the loss, so I can only hope Logan paid his GEICO bill. It's so easy, even a baseball player can do it.

UPDATE: It's not Logan's car. But my point remains: Logan Morrison is charming and not wealthy but he lives in Florida, which sucks.

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Logan Morrison checks in at 6'3", 237 lbs. That is a Lexus IS, which has all the interior room of a shoebox. The real mystery here: HOW DOES HE FIT IN THAT THING??? I am nearly the same size (add an inch), and test drove one of those and was in traction for a month.

Does Logan Morrison live on fraternity row?

Either that or an apartment complex built in the 50s or 60s.

I blame that cheap motherfucker Jeffrey Loria.

"Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there"

with a new manager!
and some middle of the lineup protection!
and a new taxpayer-funded stadium!
and the girl from 4B!

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