Orlando Cabrera Just Starting Five Stages of Grief

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In her 1969 book On Death and Dying, Swiss psychiatrist Elizabeth K├╝bler-Ross introduced "the five stages of grief" to describe the process by which folks deal with tragedy. Reds shortstop Orlando Cabrera, victim of Roy Halladay's epic and historic no-hitter, is obviously still stuck in stage one: denial.

Cabrera, who has a history of being a horse's ass, took umbrage with home plate umpire John Hirschbeck's liberal interpretation of the strike zone. He pretty much accused Hirschbeck of favoring Halladay and giving him a wider, taller strike zone while calling a tight game for his own guy, Edinson Volquez. Effectively, Cabrera denies that this amazing event should ever have happened.

Via the ultimate snappy dresser, Reds beat blogger John Fay, here's what O-Cabs had to say:

"It was a bad combination with John back there. He gave him every single pitch. A guy like Halladay feeds like that. It makes it nearly impossible with a guy like that. He can hit every single corner, and he was low in the zone.

"He and the umpire threw a no-hitter. Another umpire and another zone, he wouldn't have been able to throw a game like that. Basically, he was getting every pitch. We had no chance."

In a way, Cabrera has a point. The strike zone has never been a perfectly shaped rectangular box; it's a fluid, changing creature that can only be made consistent and concise with robot umpires. Last night, Halladay got a couple of favorable calls but that's no different than any pitcher in any given game. Balls are sometimes strikes, strikes are sometimes balls, and until technology eliminates it, the human element will exist in umpiring.

So to shit all over an amazing accomplishment like Halladay's by accusing the umpire of being in cahoots with history is just sad. Shame on you, Orlando.

Soon, possibly as early as this morning, Orlando Cabrera will progress towards a more familiar stage: anger. Here's hoping that Dusty Baker can cheer him up with some nifty Riverdancing.

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Ohhh, sad girl. How you cheer me so.

Whenever I see stuff like this, I think of an old phrase I found elsewhere on this big ol' INTERNET of ours... and it goes like this:

"Man up, princess."

Please allow me to use this time to sympathize with O. Cab: FUCK YOU ERIC GREGGGGGGG

*I don't really sympathize with Orlando

He can hit every single corner
The mark of a shitty pitcher!

At the end of that quote, Cabrera also said Greg Maddux was mediocre at best, Jerry Rice pushed off too much, and Michael Jordan got favorable calls from the refs. Move over Bill Plaschke, there's a new public enemy #1 in Philly.

Basically, he was getting every pitch.

"I know!" - Livan Hernandez

Also, pitch f/x says he only got one strike call out of the strike zone, with four strikes inside the zone that were called balls.

For whatever that's worth.

I used to be able to see pitch f/x but I can't anymore because of a dispute between dish network and Fox.

Str8EdgeRacer racer on the mound in Tampa

scratch that second "racer"

I meant to ask what CJ does when Texas clinches. Does he shake up some apple juice and spray it around? does he have to leave so he doesn't accidentally ingest booze?

@matt_T, he cranks up some Minor Threat and drinks soy milk.

Texas is ruining Tampa's shit right now. Leaving Tampa down 2-0 does not bode well for the young Rays.

Make that 6-0. Does anyone know why the hipster got ejected.

@BCTF, from what I read he was arguing a blown call at first base. Btw, the 2-0 I was referring to was 2 games to none, not the score.


A check swing call didn't go the Rays' way. The very next pitch was Michael Young's 3-run ding dong. Bro got totally unchill with the umps after that.

Oh I see. Sorry about that. It was 2-0 after the 4th.

My bad, all I read was blown call by first base ump. He must of called the check swing. Thanks for the info Ed.

@BCTF, no need to apologize.

Yeah, Young hits right-handed, so the first base ump did make that call.

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