The 2010 Walkoff Walk Playoff Previews: Cincinnati Reds

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This guy did our Reds preview but instead of writing down his thoughts, he decided to record a video of some a capella Christian rap lyrics he cobbled together inspired by the National League Central division-winning Cincinnati Reds. No, I didn't realize Chris Coghlan was such a big Reds fan either:

Wow, that was something else. Thanks, Marge Schott's grandson! So, dear reader, when you're cheering on the Reds tomorrow afternoon against the Phillies, remember these fresh rhymes:

"Because that devil was a lion that constantly roams, you need to check your armor and go crazy for the lord, Jonny Gomes"

"And he died on the wood, but he's not Travis (Wood)."

"Because pleasure won't be found in money sex or drugs, you need to spring towards Jesus, Drew Stubbs"

Also, I think he compares Brandon Phillips to Satan, which is weird because the Dark Lord always hustles. So let's help out this God-fearin' fella and help him think up some new lyrics for his rap song. Something like, "Three days later, our Lord Pete Rose from the grave".

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Is he wearing a hat on top of his hat? What a dushbag.

o.k., here's my addition to the rap:
Satan loves drugs so stay off the yayo, just like my man Bronson Arroyo. Word!

/crosses arms
//turns hat sideways

Kickin' It with Johnny Cueto

Boy are the Johnny Benches in this baptist megachurch uncomfortable. Did I do that right?

Better not turn your hat sideways in Utica, UU. They have that banned in at least a few bars around there...

/not making that up

Love the last line on the YouTube video description: "I loved paralleling Jesus and His amazingness to the Reds."

All the best recording studios have popcorn ceilings.

Do unto others, don't be nasty or quibble/
Cordero brings the heat, like a modern Rob Dibble

We gon' wrap the title up, like Moses in the reeds/
A pinch hit from Nix meets our late-inning needs

@Ed, did not know that, luckily I don't plan on visiting Utica anytime soon.

Believe me, UU, I had no intention of visiting Utica either. I was only there to accompany on percussion (percuss?) a friend of mine for his set at the Utica Music & Arts Fest...

When the Reds get hot they're in the zone /
Like Davey the immaculate Concepcion

They should burn Utica to the ground

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