Your Guide to the Managerial Interview Quota System

The NFL has its strictly-enforced Rooney Rule, but when it comes to hiring minorities to fill managerial roles, baseball has been doing a pretty decent job on its own ever since Al Campanis had his Jimmy the Greek moment. It is essential for professional sports teams to consider all qualified candidates for a job regardless of race, color, creed, or ability to execute the double-switch.

Sometimes though, even if a team has decided which manager they want to hire, they'll go ahead and open up the interview process to some other candidates, just for appearance's sake. Dale Sveum doesn't mind. He likes the frequent flier miles.

Here then is a list of some of the candidates for managerial openings in places like Pittsburgh, Milwaukee, and Seattle, and the associated minority group or special category they represent.

	Name	Identifying group	Career record	What's his deal
	Cecil Cooper	African-American men with goatees	171-170	Interviewed for the Mariners job but also under consideration to return to his roots in Milwaukee. Probably far better than his record indicates since he rallied a terrible Astros team to a good finish. (See also: Don Baylor, Lloyd McClendon)
	Ken Macha	Doddering senior-citizens	525-447	Absent-minded perfessors need love, too! Macha's bullpen management in Oakland and Milwaukee was questionable at best but the Pirates need to make sure AARP doesn't file an ageism suit. (See also: Tommy Lasorda)
	Bob Melvin	Menschy control freaks	493-508	Could be a candidate for the Jays job but he calls for bunts too much. Smart fella, but he could opt not to work on certain fall holidays if his new team ever makes the World Series. (See also: Gabe Kapler, Larry Rothschild)
	Tim Wallach	Former Expos	NULL	Wallach has no MLB managerial experience but was named the 2009 Manager of the Year in the PCL. He's up for the Blue Jays job but in the end, Ontario folk could care less aboot those jerks in Montreal. (See also: Gary Carter, Ned Yost)
	Bob Brenly	Learning-disabled yokels in the media	303-262	Former managers on television have almost a hypnotic effect on baseball execs but it's a dangerous hire. If you listened to Brenly's "analysis" on TBS during the LDS, you agree that his brain has pretty much melted in broadcasting. (See also Bobby Valentine)