Josh Hamilton Takes September Off, Wins MVP Award Anyway

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Despite missing the entire month of September while at rehab to recover from his addiction to Four Loko because of an ouchie spot in his rib area, Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton has claimed the 2010 American League MVP award over runners-up Miguel Cabrera and Robbie Cano. Josh won with 22 of 28 first place votes and 358 total points.

Josh led the league in batting average (.359), slugging percentage (.633), OPS (1.044), and newsprint/kilobytes wasted on spirituality (too many to count). Defensively, Hammy played most of the year just around league average in left field but improved late with 29 games in center field. His Texas Rangers won the AL West with aplomb, enjoying at least a five-game division lead every day of the season after July 19th.

Plus he once abused drugs and boozed a lot but then stopped except for that one time in the bar with those gals, so really, he was the perfect candidate. HUMAN CONDITION.

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The t shirt alone should win mvp.

Hamilton should have won, but Cano finishing 3rd is bullshit.

That tee shirt > Shrimp tee shirt

Doesn't it look like the bottle he has is a piss bottle?

How on earth should Cano have finished higher than 3rd? How do you justify him beating Cabrera? How do you justify Hamilton beating Cabrera?

Is it me or are his tat sleeves fading? Is he getting them lasered off? SCRUBBING AWAY THE REMNANTS OF HIS PAST. I smell an ESPN 360 segment.