Your Roundup of Baseball Metaphors on Election Day

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No, Republican nominee in the New York State's gubernatorial race Carl Paladino isn't going to celebrate his overwhelming defeat by playing a round of wiffle ball in the backyard. Nope, Paladino wielded the bat during the campaign as a means of intimidating his opponents; he brought it back last night as a reminder to new governor Andrew Cuomo, effectively saying "Since I couldn't beat you in this election, let's make it a best-of-seven, like the World Series". Either that or "I will beat you senseless with this aluminum bat."

That was just one of many baseball analogies and metaphors on our country's (sorry, Drew) tumultuous Election Day in which all the folks who blamed Republicans two years ago for the poor economy suddenly decided to blame the Demmycrats instead. Makes perfect sense to me! Here then is your wrap-up of folks invoking our national pastime for political gain and/or journalistic hackery:

  • Jonathan Krause, a Republican challenger in the 54th district of Wisconsin's state assembly who lost to the Democratic opponent, said "I kind of feel like the baseball player who goes 0 for five when his team wins 14-2." So basically, any Republican who lost yesterday is Pat Burrell.

  • María Antonieta Mejía opined that, just like in baseball, a ton of money can't always buy success in elections. She compared California's defeated gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman to a spendy baseball team that still got blown out by a frugal team, like the Giants. Which is odd, because the Giants totally had a $100 million payroll in 2010. Whatever.

  • Newly-elected Pennsylvania congresscritter Lou Barletta lost his first ever election for city council fifteen years ago but in an interview with Hazleton Standard-Speaker's Kent Jackson, Barletta says, "Even Babe Ruth struck out." Barletta also struck out when he tried to enact an anti-immigration ordinance in Hazleton that made English the official language. The law was turned down by the U.S. District Court and could eventually get struck down by the U.S. Supreme Court, who love to use baseball metaphors about umpiring and whatnot.

  • And in Kentucky, former baseball commissioner Happy Chandler's grandson Ben, a Democrat, won his fifth term to Congress. Happy Chandler was commissioner when Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier and he was probably not granted an extended term in that role because the owners had voted 15-1. Ben Chandler's opponent, however, hasn't conceded yet because the vote margin is too tight. They might need extra innings to decide this one, ho ho! Baseball metaphor!

And if you want to know who to blame for Republican Ben Quayle winning his race for Congress in Arizona, look no further than former Giants owner Peter Magowan, who donated $1,000 to the son of the former veep and forever dolt Dan Quayle. Just like in baseball, where generation after generation of Boones and Hairstons get a chance to hit .204, the world of politics loves nepotism.

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"Wait, Carl, no, you're holding the bat wrong. Carl, the bat... hold it by the handle, not the barrel, Carl. Use both hands. Carl? Carl! Ah, fuck it. Never mind. Keep smirking sadly, sir!"

This post was a slaaaaaaaaaam dunk!

Paladino was using that bat as a visual for certain things that go on at gay pride parades. He REALLY wants you to know.

They used to call him Crazy Carl, now they call him batman.

/also, still called Crazy Carl.

I dunno, I don't feel as if there was enough snark.

I would blame Obama/Reid/Pelosi and their shitty polices helping Quayle getting elected

All politics is local except when it helps BCTF prove his point.

Yeah, fuck the polices! I can't wait to hear all about the stuff creepy Ben Quayle pays a madam to do to him. Can he top David Vitter's diaper?

My attempt to start a pyramid really struck out with this group. At least I went down swinging.

New 100m dash world champion: This post.

WTF??????? I thought this was a recipe blog?

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