Is there any first name that inspires more hatred than "Jeff"? I think not! Hit the bricks, Brads and Todds of the world; today, we at Walkoff Walk choose to continue the enemies list by singling out our most hated people with the name "Jeff" or the heterographically-equivalent "Geoff".
- Jeff Francoeur: The former Brave, former Met, and current RoyLOL outfielder provided us with some good laughs, so I regret putting him on our enemies list. Still, he golfed and ate Chick-Fil-A with Tiger Woods, cowered at fly balls, and made us shudder at the thought of his underwear, so Frenchie leads off today's list.
- Jeff Idelson: The current president of the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown should be a more frequent object of our derision. After all, he effectively gave the baseball writers free reign to judge former players based on unwarranted steroid suspicions. But back in 2008, Idelson discussed purchasing the Barry Bonds baseball that Marc Ecko branded and took over for a man who canceled a 15th anniversary celebration of "Bull Durham" because of anti-war criticism by co-stars Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon. Quite a legacy of cowardice.
- Jeff Loria: The man who got his start selling shitty artwork at Sears and later helped orchestrate the effective murder of Montreal baseball graced the pages of this blog more than any other Jeff. Every mention was negative. He fleeced Florida into building him a new stadium, showed up 8 years too late to capitalize on the Austin Powers fad, fancied himself a modern-day FDR, spit on Joan Miró's grave, got on the MLB shitlist because of a super-low payroll, put the kibosh on the out-of-town scoreboard, and famously made it onto Kris Liakos' hit list. WHEW.
- Jeff Pearlman: We only wrote about Mr. Pearlman once, and it was merely in an indirect manner. No matter. Jeff Pearlman's recent foray into notoriety has made him eminently unlikeable and we'd like to make up for three years of not mentioning him by listing him here, on our enemies list. Grow up, Mr. Pearlman, and stop making yourself the story.
- Jeff Kent: Holy lord, is this guy a horse's ass. The guy who once called out Vin Scully, of all people, might possibly be the least-liked player in recent memory. The schmuck even donated $15,000 towards passing Prop 8 in California. Jeff Kent even cheated in a charity baseball game, kicking ground balls away from fielders and tackling opposing players. What a cad!
- Jeff Suppan: He runs a sports bar and grill in California called Soup's. Kris once got food poisoning from the jalapeño poppers. Plus, Suppan never invented a popular sandwich style like Bobby Valentine did. Enemy of the blog.
- Geoff Jenkins: Spells his name in a silly manner.
- Geoff Baker: He's the saddest boy in the eleventh grade. Poor Geoff Baker probably never deserved the teasing we've given him for three years, but c'mon, just take a stroll back in time to May, 2008 and peek at the evidence. He's the Debbie Downerest of Debbie Downers in the Pacific Northwest! He was probably taken down by the morbidly depressing fans he writes for but possibly took Kenji Johjima down with him on his sad spiral. Baker stood by as the Mariners cleaned house in 2008 and watched with horror at Miguel Batista's serial killer obsession. Baker even became cautiously optimistic at the start of the 2009 season. Ha! How long did that last? But in the end, we salute Geoff Baker for being the only journalist emotionally disturbed enough to interview Milton Bradley.
Consider yourselves lucky, Jeff Weaver and Jeff Torborg and Geoff Blum and AJC blogger Jeff Schultz. You were simply too invisible to earn a shred of our ire.