Kris Liakos: February 2010 Archives

Cito Gaston Shills For Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball on SNES - 1994

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Who else would be better in a commercial for Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball, than Ol' Clarence? Well yeah, Ken Griffey Jr. would have been better but he was probably filming 300 other commercials this day with his hat on backwards. So enter Clarence, still in his back to back World Series Championship heyday. Had he yet morphed into the doddering old father figure that riles Blue Jay fans more and more with each passing second? I DON'T THINK SO.

My favorite part is when they say "could this game get any more REAL" and then they show this hilariously cartoonish clip from the game where the ball swells to the size of a balloon to illustrate a pop fly. Simpler times and naked nostalgia. That's Classic TV Friday for you. Please to enjoy.

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Lots of people have back pain. It's one of the worst but also most common ailments that occurs with age. You probaby have it sometimes, and Lord knows you aren't getting any younger, Grampy. But when you get an ouchie you just swallow a couple Doans P.M. and go lay down on the chaise.

Ballplayers don't have that option (from Feb to Oct, anyway) so they have to have insane procedures that sound both high tech and quaintly barbaric. Like A's pitcher Justin Duchscerer who had the nerve endings in his sacroiliac joint BURNED OFF. It's supposed to mitigate his back pain, but he may have to do it every 6 months. And the drugs have him more whacked out than someone seeing The Disco Biscuits. To wit, via Susan Slusser:

Duchscherer is still out of it. So much so that I asked if he'd driven himself to Phoenix Muni and he said no way, he's not allowed to drive yet; his fiancee had brought him over.

"I don't feel anything," he said, smiling widely. "I feel great right now. More than anything, I'm tired."

That's despite sleeping essentially from 2 p.m. on yesterday. Duchscherer woke up for at an hour at 9 p.m., then went back to sleep until this morning. "I need to clear my head," he said.

The procedure originally was scheduled for Monday but Duchscherer has had a bad reaction in the past to the drug Versed, which was going to be used. So it was re-scheduled for yesterday, and Duchscherer was given Ativan, instead - quite a lot of it because initially it wasn't enough. "And then....I don't remember," Duchscherer said.

If I had a nickel for everytime I've said "I feel great, I don't feel anything" I'd be able to just buy the Miller brewery. But Ativan, (aka Lorazepam) is nothing to sneeze at, what with its "five intrinsic benzodiazepine effects: anxiolytic, amnesic, sedative/hypnotic, anticonvulsant and muscle relaxant." Rad. Hook it up, Justin.

While MLB is kicking around the idea of HGH testing perhaps they oughta check for high Ativan levels. Imagine if Barry Bonds had not only tainted the single season HR record but also the record for most time spent staring at a Gatorade cooler (Mickey Tettleton, 1987).

Red Sox Truck Day 2010: The Walkoff Walk Documentary

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So here in Boston, Truck Day is a thing now. I guess it's been that way for a couple years and the Globe had coverage leading up to it all last week like it was the World Series or something. So on Friday I went along with my good friend Will Fox, both of us Truck Day Newbies. We took lots of footage of the "action." We made fun of people. We edited that footage down into our first Walkoff Walk Documentary.

It's about 25 minutes long and most people won't get it, but most people aren't WoWies. You're also encouraged to chop up, remix, edit or make a trailer for this and all future Walkoff Walk documentaries. Please to enjoy.

Whilst wading through the knee deep nostalgia of old commercials on YouTube this morning, I found myself torn between presenting one of the two videos. So I'm NOT GONNA choose. You're getting a double dose for your weekend. First up is Johnny Bench shilling for one of the grosser products I've ever seen. It's called Bubble Fudge and should have the tags "german" "scat" and "film." And his nephew is in it. Blech.



Our second commerical is a Spanish language one from the 80's for Kellogg's Corn Flakes. Now, I'm not 100% versed on Mexican culture so if someone could explain to me whether or not the Traditional Cereal Picnic is big down there I'd appreciate it. Here the table is set with a complete outdoor breakfast, the kids come running for some al fresco flakes when Fernando Valenzuela just manifests out of thin air and completely terrifies the little ninos. Look at their faces at 00:12. That's abject horror. Bueno!

The Walkoff Walk PNC Heist - Saturday, August 7th, 2010

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Like we weren't gonna pick the game that has both fireworks and GEORGE FRIGGIN THOROGOOD??? Yes kids, I can hardly believe it myself but for the second straight year we're gonna take over an entire section during a Pirates game. We're all gonna drink a bunch of Iron City and watch the Bucs take on the Rockies. Then postgame, George and the Destroyers (nee Delaware Destroyers) are gonna melt our faces off. To a fireworks display. For one epic night, you'll all be Clooney. Not just me.

And what's more, as part of the Walkoff Walk Summer Stimulus Plan tickets to this year's Heist are a mere $20. That's $10 less than last year. If you want IN email Rob (iracane@gmail.com) and tell him how many tickets you want. Everything went as smooth as Billy Dee Williams last year, and he'll make sure it does again this time around.

I mean, seriously. This has the potential to be more than a blog party. This could be a CROSSOVER CULTURAL MOMENT. You must be there.

(Rob here: the Pirates tell me that this is the second most demanded game of the year after Opening Day; let us know by this Friday if you are in so we can finalize the numbers. Thanks!)