Classic TV Friday: February 2009 Archives

Lucky Strike Cigarettes - 1956

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Today's Classic TV Friday clip is so outdated it feels like it's from another planet. Want to enjoy the baseball game?

Step 1. Get to the game early.

Step 2. Look over the lineup cards.

Step 3. Light up a cigarette.

There you go. Those are the three steps. Hey don't look at me, IT WAS ON TV. THAT'S SCIENCE.

Ernie's Imaginary Baseball Game - 1971

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Is the weather lousy where you live? Are you seeing video of camp in Florida and Arizona and wondering how it's possible that you live in the same country as people playing baseball? Outside? Classic TV Friday is here to help.

If the season seems too far away for you, take a cue from Bert and Ernie. Just hallucinate use your imagination and pretend it's time for baseball. See? No matter how old you are you can still find some good advice on Sesame Street.

That's why I live for free in a trash can. How's that mortgage working out for you, sucker?

Jack Clark Is Red Hot - 1987

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How hot was Jack Clark to start the 1987 season? Let KSDK news in St. Louis try to put it into perspective with some awesomely dated analogies. I won't spoil them for you. I will tell you that if you ever wanted to watch Jack Clark round the bases in slow mo to a song about sexual obsession then this Classic TV Friday is made for you.

Take it away, Art Holliday!

Rafael Palmeiro Pushes Coke - 1992

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Welcome to Hispanic Adolescence, where we trade worthless baseball cards and worship Rafael Palmeiro and wait for our parents to come home from being the underpaid backbone of this country for the past 30 years even though the woe-is-me-white-working-class pretends they are.

Imperialism lives. Get these kids a damned Coke. And hey, don't call me "Dude."