Walkoff Walk

Weekend Writer Wages War With Woeful Winter

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 10:00:00 -0500

While the Yankees World Series victory led to me experiencing unparalleled amounts of joy and lack of self-restraint, it also meant the end of the baseball season for what always seems like an eternity.

I think part of the reason that it hurts so much for baseball to be gone is the fact that the baseball season and playoffs are so long. In these months upon months, the fans are given the opportunity to develop substantive relationships with their team for a particular year, which makes baseball's abrupt and definitive exit all the more disruptive and saddening. At that point, as baseball is storming out of the house and taking the kids and the dog with it, we're left with little but a Madame Bovary-esque longing for our ideal world where baseball is always there to satisfy us. But in reality this just isn't possible, and so we wait while Spring Training approaches with a pace that would make snail baby blush in embarrassment.

So what can you do to help survive the offseason? Come with me after the jump and we'll explore some tried and true methods.

Weekend Questions

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:15:00 -0500

HOW much scratch will Bobby "Cookies" Abreu earn from his new two-year deal with the Angels? Fella sure knows how to draw a walk or smack a double.
WHO wins in the "blockbuster" Mark Teahen-for-Chris Getz and Josh Fields trade the White Sox and Royals pulled off today? I'd say that anyone who gets traded from the Royals is an automatic winner.
SO, that Jon Garland thing really worked out well for the Diamondbacks, eh?
CAN'T the MLB officials just let the Nationals celebrate their World Championship without interruption, please?
STEAKHOUSE or gay bar?

Yes, tomorrow is an off-day for Walkoff Walk as we rest on our petards and get hoisted by our labors while enjoying the fruits of our laurels. Mixing metaphors on vacation days has never felt so good! 310toJoba might pop in over the weekend and we'll be back live on Monday. Same WoW channel.

(photo borrowed gently from Duk's Flickr stream and his Stew Slideshow)

This Guy Is Playing Golf Right Now: Every Baseball Player

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:45:00 -0500

As the playoffs and award season gets underway, we want to take a gander at some players who had outstanding seasons in 2009 but whose teams ended up just shy of making the postseason and who will (most likely) not pick up any fancy trophies. Quite a consolation prize: a round of golf and a write-up on a low circulation sports blog.

Previously, Franklin Gutierrez, Garrett Jones, Danny Haren, Shin Soo Choo, Wandy Rodriguez, Adrian Gonzalez, Pablo Sandoval, Javier Vazquez, Russell Branyan, Ben Zobrist, Adam Lind and Prince Fielder.

Up next, every single baseball player.

So, this is what the kids are calling "the offseason" nowadays. Thanks to all the writers who contributed essays to the "This Guy Is Playing Golf" series which is now coming to a close. Because, you see, every single baseball player is either headed to the golf course or saving folks on highways or off to the Letterman show. Such is the nature of the beast.

There's no way we can say we discovered any of these guys or even improved their Q rating a bit. But still, over the past month full of Yankees, Phillies, Dodgers, Angels, and the rest, it was fun to focus a bit on the players on the fringe of the mainstream or the verge of superstardom. Or, perhaps some of them may never find success in the big leagues again after this season. But rest assured, they probably made at least a million dollars and have a tidy job at a car dealership waiting for them when they retire.

Really, the best part of this series was imagining a foursome of Pablo Sandoval, Javy Vazquez, Prince Fielder, and Shin Soo Choo out on Pebble Beach taking in eighteen holes. The fat plaid pants on Fielder would be hilarious enough to tide me over for an entire winter.

John Sterling Drops Unprecedented 10.05 Second Win Warble

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:15:00 -0500

The John Sterling worship blog It Is High, It Is Far, It Is....Caught spent the 2009 season recording and rating the Yankee announcer's victory calls, aka the win warble. Last night's World Series clincher was a real doozy, topping the previously unheard of 10 second mark and shattering eardrums from the Bronx to the Battery, from Tarrytown to Tampa, and from Hartford to Hoboken.

To wit:

It's like they invented the word "caterwaul" specifically for this moment. But hey, I loves me some John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman. What's that, you say they are unabashed homers? Oh yeah? Name one radio announcer outside of Vin Scully who isn't. Exactly, it's the nature of the beast. At least John and Suzyn are professionals who do a heck of a job illustrating the game through the spoken word.

I've listened to radio announcers across this great land for years on the satellite and, with the exception of Scully and maybe Joe Castiglione, none of them can hold a candle to Sterling and Waldman. Despite Waldman's one emotionally-challenged Roger Clemens moment and Sterling's affinity for quoting lyrics from 1940's Broadway musicals, there is no greater pair on the radio today.

Yes, I will be making my maiden voyage to Cooperstown at some point in the next twelve months just to see Suzyn's scorecard from last night. It's far more interesting an artifact than Brian Bruney's jock strap.

Oh What a Save By Girardi!

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0500

As if having the gumption (and resources) to go an entire postseason with a three-man rotation wasn't enough for Yankees manager Joe Girardi, he had to go and play the role of real-life hero by coming to the aid of a motorist in need. A lady driver from Connecticut, naturally:

On his way home from winning the World Series, Yankees Manager Joe Girardi stopped to help a woman who had lost control of her car on the Cross County Parkway and crashed into a wall.
The area is notorious for its blind spots, and Girardi, who had parked his car along the right side of the parkway, and then run across the traffic to get to the injured motorist, put his life at risk, police said.
"He could have gotten killed," county Sgt. Thomas McGurn said, adding that responding police units take extra precaution in that area because of the blind curve and speeding cars. "Traffic goes by at 80 mph."

I've driven on that road at night after Yankees games and can attest to the danger involved when it's dark and there are idiot New York and Connecticut drivers speeding around blind curves like madmen. Yes, I am a New Jersey driver complaining about the aggressive driving habits of residents of other states. Enjoy the delicious irony.

Charlie Manuel Is a Class Act Through and Through

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:00:00 -0500

Via our pals at the 700 Level, here's a peek into the losing manager's presser. But with a real baseball gentleman like Charlie Manuel, you really can't tell that this is a dude who feels sad and sorry that his team just lost. No wonder Phillies fans idolize a man who has the confidence to say that his team will be back and the brass ones to hope it's against the Yankees:

When Jose Molina Offers You a Shooter, You Cannot Say No

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:00:00 -0500

One of the benefits (or occupational hazards) of being a sports writer is hanging out in the locker room after a team clinches a championship and indulges in some ridiculously Bacchanalian celebration. Big League Stew's 'Duk was there to witness the wildings in the Yankees clubhouse last night and captured perhaps the most excellent photo sequence of the postseason. Go enjoy the entire photo essay.

Your 2009 World Champion New York Yankees Thrilled Me

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 08:45:00 -0500

Last night, the scrappy, upstart Yankees took down the defending World F'in Champions in a 7-3 game that was never really that close. With the win, the Yanks took the World Series four games to two and, within minutes of receiving the trophy, began speculating on how to dissect and construct the team for the 2010 season. I think it's ridiculous that fans can actually walk away from their favorite team's clinching game and chat about whether Johnny Damon or Hideki Matsui will be back. I know because I was one of those ridiculous fans.

But the moment persists nonetheless. Having the opportunity to witness the 2009 New York Yankees on a firsthand basis is rivaled only by that of the 1996 team in terms of specialness. A handful of years where they came up just short will do that to you. But when a season culminates by the team recording an out and piling into a pinstriped mess of humanity, you sit back as a fan and think, "I chose correctly for once". Can you imagine that? Validating yourself by the mere fact that your preferred professional sports team was successful? I think it's ridiculous and yet here I sit with a shit-eating grin on my face.

As a co-proprietor of a general interest (read: hipster foodie) baseball blog, it's been difficult at times to keep my Yankee biases and fandom at bay during our nearly two-year run. In fact, I completely threw out any sense of caution a month ago and simply blogged as if I were some kind of deranged hack fan. Yet while I got to cheer my team on, it became more and more difficult to write about baseball as the playoffs progressed. So, I apologize to you, dear reader, if I didn't feed you with enough silliness from the outer reaches.

In Walkoff Walk's offseason, we will spend some time figuring out the future of our blog and perhaps return in a completely different format. So, there will be more Pirates and Mariners coverage in the not-so-distant future, but for now, please allow me to spend some time taking a fan's victory lap. Wow, that sounds just as lame as I thought it would.

Oh What A World Series By the Yankees!!!

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:40:00 -0500

Good game tonight, folks. As I enjoy the car ride home from the Bronx, my thoughts turn to the WoWies and my best pal Kris. Watching my favorite team win the World Series was fun but nothing compares to sharing my joy with dozens and dozens of our readers. Kudos to my Phillies fans friends too, especially my sister and darling niece. Most of all, I want to thank my dad for taking me to games for over 25 years now. Go Jankees!

See you tomorrow. Same WoW channel.

Wednesday Night Liveglog Club: Phillies @ Yankees, World Series Game 6

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:30:56 -0500

If you're interested in seeing an old man with a ridiculously inflated ego get his last moment in the spotlight, Bill Cosby receives the Mark Twain Prize tonight on your local PBS station.

If you're looking for high drama with a deeply overpaid crew of talent, "Mercy" airs on NBC at 8 pm ET.

If you want to see a crotchety old guy lose control of his family or two grown men very close to each other fight over the right way to do anything, "Modern Family" is on ABC at 9 pm ET.

If you're intrigued by famous old ghosts haunting new relics, the Ghost Hunters team is hunting Buffalo Bill tonight on Syfy at 9 pm ET as well.

If you want all that and wombats, you need the Walkoff Walk liveglog of Game 6 of the 2009 World Series. That follows after the jump.

(If you want boomer-age women embarrassing themselves, stick with Julia Louis-Dreyfuss or Courtney Cox unless you live somewhere that you can hear Suzyn Waldman.)

Tonight's Question

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0500

THEY don't shoot 37- or 38-year-old pitchers who lose Game Six, do they?

Tuffy is your liveglogger of choice tonight. Treat him the same way you treat me or Catshirt. Wait, no, treat him in the same way you'd treat a human being you actually respect. Same WoW channel.

An Incomplete List of Things I Cannot Deal With Today

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:55:00 -0500

Because my brain is not functioning in a way that allows me to formulate thoughts and transform them into sentences and paragraphs, I will take a cue from The Big Lead and squirt out a listicle for you to peruse and enjoy. Here within I present An Incomplete List of Things I Cannot Deal With Today:

Questions regarding whether Chase Utley should win the MVP if the Phillies lose.
Trying to predict Andy Pettitte's performance based purely on past results. What are we, sabermetricians or sabermagicians? Amirite?
Hand-wringing, teeth-gnashing, garment-rending, and general incontinence.
First guessing, second guessing, third guessing, and advance told-you-so's
Talking about the weather, the Stadium design, and other things the players cannot affect
People asking me if I'm excited to go to the game tonight. No, I'm only going so I can take another picture with a Yahoo! blogger.
Predicting the outcome of the game based on what happened in nineteen dickety two.
Assumptions that the outcome of a parochial gubernatorial race somehow is evidence that a nation is dissatisfied with their elected leader.
Breathing.
The idea that an entire Stadium full of thirtysomething white males is somehow the father of a 57-year-old Dominican.
Nick Swisher
The idea that, for whatever reason, my otherwise friendly relationship with many Phillies fans may suffer for a while.
Curses, taboos, voodoo magick, and the assorted dark arts.
Not getting credit for calling the Pirates the next big thing.
Thinking it was a good idea to wear long underwear to work in advance of sitting outside in 30 degree weather for four hours tonight.
The thought that baseball will soon be temporarily gone from my life.

We Interrupt This World Series For Important Cat On A Field Coverage From June

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:40:00 -0500

Look, we're all too exhausted -- mentally and physically -- to post anything right now. Here's a story about a catlady and a cat who ran onto Wrigley Field during a game. Other cats on field: Kauffman Stadium, U.S. Cellular Field, Citi Field

Vicente Padilla Learned Nothing from Plaxico Burress' Mistakes

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 08:55:00 -0500

Dodgers pitcher Vicente Padilla obviously did not take gun cleaning lessons from a professional. While hunting for the most dangerous game (I assume chickens) in his native Nicaragua on Tuesday, Padilla shot himself in the right leg and was later treated for a minor wound at a local hospital.

Katz described the incident as a "hunting accident," saying that Padilla was grazed in his right thigh by a bullet. Katz said that Padilla spent 30 to 40 minutes at a hospital and was discharged.
"He's fine," Katz said.
News reports out of Nicaragua stated that Padilla was hurt at a shooting range. At least two news outlets reported that Padilla was accidentally shot by his "escort," who was trying to fix Padilla's malfunctioning gun.

Dodgers G.M. Ned Colletti sympathizes, having shot himself in the leg by forcing his team to start Padilla in a playoff elimination game on the road.

Tonight's Questions

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:30:00 -0500

NOW that Bobby Valentine has left Japanese baseball behind, is it time for Dubya to pursue a managerial job in the NPB?
DON'T you love it when small-market teams help each other out? Akinori Iwamura heads to the Pirates, possibly for some live arms in exchange.
DID Brett Myers really confront Cole Hamels? I don't believe either pitcher or the Phillies press agent when they deny the story, nor does it matter either way.
WHICH dated telecommunications reference did Drew use to disparage the Blue Jays' Cito Gaston extension? Ghostrunner on First: where metaphors happen.

I just realized that last night was my final liveglog of the 2009 season. I'll be back at the South Bronx Applebee's tomorrow for the big game so our pal Tuffy will bring in the noise, bring in the photoshops. As for Game Seven...well...we'll cross that bridge when it gets named after Derek Jeter.

Rest up tonight; the 2009 baseball season and Walkoff Walk's coverage of the creature as we know it may end after tomorrow. Same WoW channel.

(photo source)