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Tavern Talking Points #3: Heads Should Roll In AL Central

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Too dumb to come up with your own ideas and take sides in a bar argument? Let WoW's Tavern Talking Points do it for you.

Our boy 'Duk at BLS wrote a fantastically exasperated piece last night describing how all of us baseball fans feel about that miserable AL Central race. He made the prescient analogy that the teams about the teams being two fighters clutching and grabbing until one can deliver a haymaker in their series next week. I agree that this whole thing has been as exciting as a John Ruiz fight.

He makes a point of praising Guillen and Gardy as "good motivators" saying that's part of the reason they've taken advantage of lousy Cleveland and Detroit seasons. This is where I'd beg to differ and say that whichever one of these teams loses the division should fire their manager. This is the worst display of "getting the job done" since 5 minutes ago when I was too lazy to look up the last time a division race stunk this much. In situations this aesthetically atrocious, someone must be held accountable.

I predicted before the season that Ozzie would be canned by the All-Star break, and that turned out like most of predictions: laughably incorrect. But that was my error. Kenny Williams has made strong moves in the past two seasons to strengthen the club. They're certainly not the youngest team, but they have enough talent to have put this division away long ago.

Chances have come and gone for the Twins, and for once in my life I'm reluctant to blame everything on the GOP. Weeks before the now infamous road trip, we were wondering whether or not Minnesota would ever get over the hump. They choked repeatedly, spending one day in first. No one should feel good about capitalizing on poor seasons by the Tigers and Tribe. They should feel bad for having a big league club that so easily wilts under pressure. For Gardenhire, it's also a matter of mismanaging a bullpen.

So come on Kenny Williams and Bill Smith. Let's make this AL Central race a deathwatch. It's been depressing enough, and this will only put it over the top.

Tavern Talking Points #2: Your Team Should Sign Barry Bonds

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With the exception of the Giants, every single weak hitting team in baseball should consider signing Barry Bonds. The idea that Bonds is some sort of pariah above and beyond anyone else tied up in baseball's ongoing steroid mess is insulting to fans' intelligence. This infuriating Ken Rosenthal column claims that "even if Bonds led his new team to a World Series title, many would consider the victory hollow."

Really, Ken? I don't know a single baseball fan that would claim that. Bonds' numbers last year were more than serviceable and would go miles towards protecting any team's best right handed bat, especially as a DH.

If anything, this offseason's Mitchell report shitstorm makes Bonds' transgressions stand out less. That's common sense. Christ look at a team like the Royals who outright talk about the added punch to their lineup once Jose Guillen finishes his suspension for PED use. In a climate where drug suspensions play out like a hamstring pull, I refuse to buy any front office's moral apprehension at signing Bonds. Having him in the league isn't bad for baseball as some fire and brimstone talking out their asses columnists would have you believe, but for any team trying to compete with the AL's most high powered offenses, it's just bad baseball not to sign the best available players.
bar+fight.bmp.jpgToo dumb to come up with your own arguments and take sides in a bar argument? Let WoW's Tavern Talking Points do it for you.

    With the Johan Santana Tantric Trade Talks finally having reached orgasm all over Shea Stadium, the Mets are frontrunners in the NL East.

Santana is the only player that could have instantly changed the conversation for this team. By the time the 'Mazins took their middle and index fingers from their throats and finished forcibly throwing up the division championship last fall, "Moving On" was empty empty empty talk. Give Omar Minaya credit for going out and bolstering the psyche of this team going into Spring Training and April. If the injury bug sets in and it turns out they gave away too much game ready talent, this will be an easier move to criticize, but wait till that happens.
    Anyone who still picks the Phils to win the division is most likely tripping their fucking balls off. Their offseason retooling is built on a rock solid foundation of a Brad Lidge renaissance at closer. Let me know how that works out. We're not saying the Mets have it locked up, but you're batshit if they're not your preseason pick.

    The two most notable groups of meatheads that didn't get to rape the Twins reside in Boston and the Bronx (the favored meatheads of this here weblog). Chatter out of those two spots has tended towards "Oh well, at least it's the Mets so they'll be sure to waste his talent." This is the second most retarded thing I've heard all week, and that's only because I watched The State Of The Union. The same thing was said about both Pedro and Schilling when they landed in Boston. A team's history has no impact on its present, once they turn the corner with enough talent. With Santana, the most recent and by far the most important of the 771 Hispanic players* Minaya has acquired in the past 36 months, the Mets could be doing just that.

*that's a shitload of Hispanics.

September 2008: Monthly Archives